tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91699117859797530582024-02-20T13:14:25.784-05:00The Customer is Always RightUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger114125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-24702273448299513412011-03-11T10:00:00.000-05:002011-03-11T10:00:16.027-05:00Vin Diesel Live<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2OybeV5YvC-PaPkukbpYxzAQIa2n3M1HtIRcZwUbm4pkbVk4EpfpR3GaMUDiXQexdUVtL18oW9INAVyelCaLDtR9uUk9hi9_4V1o6QVbAxLUD9KYSoCDD_pPPSA8ar_soYeureC3yGCM/s1600/vin-diesel-6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2OybeV5YvC-PaPkukbpYxzAQIa2n3M1HtIRcZwUbm4pkbVk4EpfpR3GaMUDiXQexdUVtL18oW9INAVyelCaLDtR9uUk9hi9_4V1o6QVbAxLUD9KYSoCDD_pPPSA8ar_soYeureC3yGCM/s320/vin-diesel-6.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><b>To:Anthony</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><b>From: Roger</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">Anthony,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">Glad that I found your post on-line. My son Darius and I have our very own rock band and we are currently in need of a new singer. Its just Darius and I after Darius's stunt coordinator started performing tricks with my wife. It sounds like you are what we are looking for. We need someone who is very dedicated and loves music as much as we do.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">We are really in a bind because we have 3 upcoming shows as soon as May 5th, and we really need to get more rehearsal time in.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">Where are you located and do you have reliable transportation?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">-RIP</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i>"Then David and all Israel played music before God with all their might, with singing, on harps, on stringed instruments, on tambourines, on cymbals, and with trumpets."<br />
1 Chronicles 13:8</i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><br />
</b></span></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i></i></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>To: Roger</b></span></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>From: Anthony</b></span></i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">I am located about 50 mind north of the city I have my own car, what kind of music do you guys play tell me a little more about you guys<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>To:Anthony</b></span></i></span></span></b></span></i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>CC: Darius</b></span></i></span></span></b></span></i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><b>From: Roger</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">Anthony,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">Thanks for your quick response. We're really into some edgy stuff. Darius plays drums/percussion and I handle all of our keys. We both find guitars just plain boring and nothing can compare to the sounds produced by my Casio. I would describe our music as mainly a mix of all styles of music, with Darius adding a little extra pizazz. Our fan favorite tune is called "Night Terrors", which is actually a true-life account about extremely violent nightmares that Darius had during his first few months of sixth grade last fall. This songs features a lot of rhythm changes and Darius handles the vocals mainly by shrieking into the microphone trying to recreate the graphic energy of those terrors.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></span><br />
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></b></span></i></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><b></b></span></div><div style="display: inline !important; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: normal;">To:Anthony</span></span></span></span></span></b></div><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; line-height: normal;"><b></b></span></span></span></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: normal;">CC:Roger</span></span></span></span></span></b></span></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">From: Darius</span></b></span></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px;"><span style="color: #60bf00;">dad</span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">u forgot about the lazer lights and the costumes! idoit!</span></span></span></b></span></i></span></b></span></div><br />
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">antony, we also have a lazer light system that i got for christmas and we use that to have cool effects that make the crowd smile and be amazed. and for each show we will wear a theme costume. usually it is a sorcerer theme.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">i sometimes wear a wizard beard when i play but dont worry cuz i have another one too but its not as autehntic.</span></span></span></b></span></i></span></span></span></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">p.s. our band is called VIN DIESEL cuz he is my favorite actor</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">-darius</span></span></span></b></span></i></span></span></span></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;"></span>"i caught em all!" <span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-color: initial; border-style: initial;"><img src="http://mail.yimg.com/a/i/mesg/tsmileys2/14.gif" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px;" /></span></span></span></b></span></i></span></span></span></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><br />
</span></b></span></i></span></span></span></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><br />
</span></b></span></i></span></span></span></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></b></span></i></span></span></span></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>To: Roger</b></span></i></span></b></i></span></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>From: Anthony</b></span></i></span></span></span></b></i></span></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">You guys are a band and have fans and your son is in sixth grade?? I'm looking for something more serious than a father son project. thanks anyway</span></b></span></i></span></span></span></b></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><br />
</span></b></span></i></span></span></span></b></i></span></div><br />
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></b></span></i></span></span></b></span></i></span></span></span></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><i><b><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>To:Anthony</b></span></i></span></span></b></span></i></span></span></b></i></b></i></span></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><i><b><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>CC:Darius</b></span></i></span></span></b></span></i></span></span></b></i></b></i></span></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><i><b><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><b>From: Roger</b></span></b></i></b></i></span></div><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">I assure you that we take our music seriously and we have quite a fan following. </span>We've played a good amount of gigs so far this year, and usually play once a week. Our big yearly gig is a 4 night set at the Hunker Volunteer Fire Dept east of Pittsburgh. Right now we only have two songs, but Darius is currently working on new material for our upcoming album "Father, Mother & Son", obviously we would change the album to "Father, Anthony & Son".</div><div>Right now we are practicing out of my mother's house, so we would probably need to relocate. Perhaps you could host a practice?</div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">Is there any way that you could host a practice tomorrow?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">Let me know</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: #888888; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">Roger </span><br />
<div><span style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: #888888; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; line-height: normal;"><div style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>To: Roger</b></span></i></span></div><div style="color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">CC: Darius</span></div><div style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>From: Anthony</b></span></i></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; line-height: normal;"></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">I am thinking this a joke but i am kind of intrigued by the weirdness of this project and strangely interested.</span></div><div style="color: black; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"></div><div style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><b></b></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><div style="display: inline !important; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: normal;">To:Anthony</span></span></span></span></span></b></div></span><div style="color: black;"></div><div style="color: black; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; line-height: normal;"><b></b></span></span></span></div><div style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: normal;">CC:Roger</span></span></span></span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">From: Darius</span></b></span></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #60bf00;">i will handle this idoit dad!</span></span></span></b></span></i></span></b></span></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #60bf00;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">we dont allow idoits into our band and espcilly if they are dumb. i hope no one wants u in their band and u never get a babe!</span></span></span></b></span></i></span></b></span></div><div style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">-darius</span></span></span></b></span></i></span></span></span></div><div style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-family: arial, verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;"></span>"i caught em all!" <span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-color: initial; border-style: initial;"><img src="http://mail.yimg.com/a/i/mesg/tsmileys2/14.gif" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; cursor: move;" /></span></span></span></b></span></i></span></span></span></div></span></span></span></span></div>Roger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-28024954423735936372011-03-09T09:32:00.000-05:002011-03-09T09:32:23.798-05:00Community Service<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy0oQsyfnVs9af2irWXpIFO3FK3O8AxZptN5hXdNdqaeHwkg3AMhy8shCtuMijL1nIErhV5n3Z-Esiws85PKiuaDJx0qDQTZxLy4FqIpildGcvI5-PUMEMmfN82W8X6NZ2LCO8EHizI_o/s1600/lamb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy0oQsyfnVs9af2irWXpIFO3FK3O8AxZptN5hXdNdqaeHwkg3AMhy8shCtuMijL1nIErhV5n3Z-Esiws85PKiuaDJx0qDQTZxLy4FqIpildGcvI5-PUMEMmfN82W8X6NZ2LCO8EHizI_o/s320/lamb.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>POSTING:</b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>I need to get a job doing 100 hours of community service. Please e-mail me if you have work for me or can point me in the right place.</b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Roger to Justine</b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">Good afternoon,</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I saw your posting on-line and see you are looking to get 100 hours of community service. I enjoy helping troubled kids, and I can definitely help you out if you are willing to help me out.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">Just a few questions,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">By what date do you need to be finished with your 100 hrs?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">How old are you?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">Are you able to perform manual labor?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">Please let me know if you are interested.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">Have a good day</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">!</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">-Roger</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Slay utterly old and young, both maids, and little children, and women ..."</span></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ezekiel 9.6</span></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></i></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Justine to Roger</b></span></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have until around the 20th of March, im 18, and yes i can do manual labor. All depending on where the place is. what would i be doing?</span></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Roger to Justine</b></span></span></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well it looks like you have a little under a month to get some sweat in your shorts! </span></span></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm a working man who believes in second chances, so I don't care what you did or who you raped or murdered. That information is none of my business, but what my business is is sheep breeding. I operate a 20 acre sheep ranch about 20 minutes outside of Baldwin.<br />
I have a flock of about 200 sheep, and of those 200 about 45 are rams who have reached their peak sexual maturity. If you know anything about sheep breeding you know that rams on the prowl for ewe can be quite aggressive. At age 55, Its not always easy for me to handle them and an extra hand would be appreciated.<br />
Right now its just me and my 10 year old son Darius on the farm, but he is usually practicing stunts for upcoming movies.<br />
If you'd like you could come by and I can give you a tour of the farm and demonstrate the type of work you will be doing.<br />
Thanks,<br />
Roger P</span></span></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="border-collapse: separate; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><i>"Slay utterly old and young, both maids, and little children, and women ..."</i></span></div><div style="border-collapse: separate; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><i>Ezekiel 9.6</i></span></div></span></span></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></i></span></div><div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Justine to Roger</b></span></span></i></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">sheep breeding??? r u serious? it does not sound like a thing i would want to do. thanks.</span></span></i></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></i></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Roger to Justine</b></span></span></span></i></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Justine,</span></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don't quit on me now. Its really not as bad as it sounds.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Your typical day would start around four when the sheep are still asleep. I would ride into the pen on my segway blasting an air-horn and shrieking like a banshee. This should wake up the majority of the sheep. As they awaken you'll be on foot with a baseball bat. As the sheep arise from their slumbers you will knock them out with a swift crack to the skull. </span></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">Don't worry, the sheep don't feel a thing because sheep don't have nerves in their heads. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">After all the sheep have been knocked out we'll break for lunch around one o'clock. Any sheep that you hit too hard will be taken into the kitchen. We'll then enjoy a meal of boiled mutton served in chicken beaks.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; line-height: normal;">At 1:10pm, you'll drag the </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">unconscious</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; line-height: normal;"> sheep into my upstairs guest bedroom, four at a time. I'll take it from there. In the meantime you'll need to give each ewe a full scrubbing in order to attract a mate, and a few of the ewes may be delivering.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm sure that you being 19 and a troubled girl, you probably have experience giving birth. Lamb delivery is just like child birth; although occasionally you will get kicked in the sternum by a birthing ewe. No worries though, I will provide you with a bicycle helmet to safe guard from arrant hooves.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sometimes a newborn lamb may become lodged in the birth canal. Its very important that you are not fat and maintain top physical condition, because you will sometimes be head and shoulders into the birthing canal to fetch one of the furry buggers.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can't work as long a day as I used to, so I wouldn't expect you to either. Most days will end around ten or so.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This means it'll take you a little longer to get your 100 hours of service in. I figure if we start on Monday you'll have your 100 hours by Saturday night, which will be just in time for our monthly apple cider & sheep shave jamboree.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Roger</span></span></span></i></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="border-collapse: separate; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><i>"Slay utterly old and young, both maids, and little children, and women ..."</i></span></div><div style="border-collapse: separate; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><i>Ezekiel 9.6</i></span></div><div style="border-collapse: separate; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><i><br />
</i></span></div></span></span></span></i></span></div></div><div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Justine's Mother to Roger</b></span></span></i></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hi, I'm Justine's mom and you need to leave my daughter alone! She already said she's not interested in your disgusting business, and I'd like for her to earn something useful during her punishment.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thank you,</span></span></i></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wendy **********</span></span></i></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></i></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Roger to Justine's Mom Wendy</b></span></span></span></i></span></span></i></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wendy,</span></span></i></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know you said your Justine's mom, but your comments about the uselessness of sheep breeding make me think you're hiding some serious coconuts under your slacks. You obviously don't know a lick about sheep breeding and its benefits. Sheep breeding is hard work and it teaches you discipline, drive, determination and a tender loving touch.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal;">I'm offering Justine a gravy train with biscuit wheels. I spent 17 months on a farm in Cut Bank, Montana giving lambs a bath with Johnson & Johnson No Tears before I was even allowed to step foot on the breeding floor with my Pap Pap. What I'm offering your daughter is a chance to deliver life into this world, and feel the warmth of a newborn lamb covered in </span>amniotic<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal;"> fluids snuggling up close to her face. She'll be on the cutting edge of sheep husbandry, where later this month I'll be attempting to breed a sheep and a cocker spaniel to create the world's first true sheep dog.</span></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sheep breeding also has benefits in the workplace. Maybe your boss comes in one day and tells you that you're fired, you're fat and your parents died on a Wave Runner. Its going to hurt for sure, but it won't hurt as bad as having a third trimester ewe blowing out your two front teeth with a hoof to the mouth. </span></div></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I ask you to reconsider Mrs. ********.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In conclusion, I think your daughter Justine should work for me because she will learn a lot about lambs and sheep breeding.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here are some sheep breeding materials that will give you more information as well as some well drawn visuals of the reproductive systems:</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><a href="http://www.sinosheep.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">http://www.sinosheep.com/</span></a></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sincerely,</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Roger Podacter</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>"The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same."</i></span></div><div style="line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>-Stendhal</i></span></div>Roger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-55501952656400906232010-05-05T03:33:00.001-04:002010-05-05T03:33:00.478-04:00Hansa 3672 Life Size Giraffe Stuffed Animal<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiklzPfgBYSIZTzIDt05wHEaN2fjujIX-ZAk06tDudEEj_yPrdbXEB82olDkMBG9Yu6l48oladcjjO-FELCPpszKz6EPqU5WoAJJU_huvM4C8B4hybak5PUO61TLwIYSYoXpCATf5p6GqQ/s1600/03+30-Apr-10+10.46+AM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="314" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiklzPfgBYSIZTzIDt05wHEaN2fjujIX-ZAk06tDudEEj_yPrdbXEB82olDkMBG9Yu6l48oladcjjO-FELCPpszKz6EPqU5WoAJJU_huvM4C8B4hybak5PUO61TLwIYSYoXpCATf5p6GqQ/s640/03+30-Apr-10+10.46+AM.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
Link: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Hansa-3672-Giraffe-Stuffed-Animal/dp/B0028XLX7Q/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=toys-and-games&qid=1266588759&sr=1-3">Hansa Life Size Giraffe</a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhyphenhyphenslkvmQOoA1vwjg-LybKPOAvBje1yDFMM2FPC4OjOoPN8FKyzB6VZSxRoB5Ww_XVEsbvSo8p2zpB9jhd8yvhZ5dNkWvuh5ADCVcVfLhkOxKbQSuMPM8ReTEPpkjKO_GI8VC7EodbO3E/s1600/02+30-Apr-10+10.43+AM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="184" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhyphenhyphenslkvmQOoA1vwjg-LybKPOAvBje1yDFMM2FPC4OjOoPN8FKyzB6VZSxRoB5Ww_XVEsbvSo8p2zpB9jhd8yvhZ5dNkWvuh5ADCVcVfLhkOxKbQSuMPM8ReTEPpkjKO_GI8VC7EodbO3E/s640/02+30-Apr-10+10.43+AM.jpg" width="640" /></a> </div>Roger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-37891191251829279772010-05-03T03:33:00.002-04:002010-05-03T03:33:00.735-04:00Driver's Test<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEbSmbSzmqyxQnXXkdGFvsNs9HLuRuTk2ziD02vfGAVDK7fdbAQeFaoWfBpQSiBC-Ea54EKGfoHu-dUGqKC-4a8KT2ZzCnpup3KA1yBCG4WaUAs7pDq9FtJ5P4NRTyRrw1kvLkxvkLbao/s1600/chevy_s10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEbSmbSzmqyxQnXXkdGFvsNs9HLuRuTk2ziD02vfGAVDK7fdbAQeFaoWfBpQSiBC-Ea54EKGfoHu-dUGqKC-4a8KT2ZzCnpup3KA1yBCG4WaUAs7pDq9FtJ5P4NRTyRrw1kvLkxvkLbao/s320/chevy_s10.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<b>Roger to Akshan</b><br />
<br />
Hi,<br />
I saw your ad on-line and see that you need someone to drive you up to Somerset from Pittsburgh for your driver's test. I make daily trips to and from the Pittsburgh area most weeks which would bring me right near Somerset. In your posting you say you are looking for a car, unfortunately I only have a truck, but its a small Chevy S-10 pickup. I figure $50 should cover the cost of the trip and my time.<br />
Let me know what you think<br />
<br />
<b>Akshan to Roger</b><br />
<br />
Roger,<br />
<br />
Sorry for the late response.<br />
I think a truck should be fine. That's still a non-commercial vehicle.<br />
<br />
Just to make sure:<br />
I need someone to drive me there... then I do the driving test in the truck... then I need to be driven back.<br />
<br />
If that makes sense, let me know.<br />
<br />
<b>Roger to Akshan</b><br />
<br />
Akshan,<br />
Thats great to hear. It will be no problem at all. I'll be making three manure deliveries next week to several farms right near Somerset .<br />
Right now I am flexible on what days, so you just let me know which day that you want to pass your test! Ha, I am talking like you already passed, but I know you will.<br />
Just let me know<br />
<br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Akshan to Roger</b><br />
<br />
Roger,<br />
<br />
Thursday and Saturday next week work.<br />
<br />
Saturday is better since I don't have to miss class but Thursday is manageable too. Either way it would help if I drove the truck around a little bit (maybe practiced parallel parking) before I do my test.<br />
<br />
<b>Roger to Akshan</b><br />
<br />
Akshan,<br />
Next Saturday just may work, but I am going to have to level with you. I am a manure farmer so basically my truck is loaded fuller than a Don Pablo's commode. I run animal feces up the mountain to local farms along Route 30. My little S-10 is not quite large enough to accommodate the growth of my business, and I have been forced to use the interior for storage on occasion.<br />
Thankfully, your driver's test is in the spring, because you can only imagine in a night terror how the cab smells on a 95 degree afternoon in July. No worries though my friend, I keep a bottle of Vick's vapor rub on the dash to put under your nostrils to take some sting out of the smell.<br />
I also wanted to check beforehand to make sure its OK that the truck has no seatbelts. I removed them last summer after I hit a shed that came out of nowhere, and I had trouble getting out of the car before the fire started.. The cops claimed I was under the influence of alcohol and methamphetamine, but I don't see how they could have smelled anything besides the four and a half tons of farm slurry (liquid manure) I was hauling in several hundred 2-liter Ginger Ale bottles.<br />
I'll be in the city next week for an AA meeting and to meet with my parole officer, so you can test drive the car and practice your parking then. You are going to want to wear some older clothes, because I'll be hauling a 3-ton to a farm in Buterl. And if you can catch a sinus infection between now and next week, you'd be doing your nostrils a favor.<br />
Just let me know,<br />
RogerRoger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-73458724319448914182010-04-30T03:42:00.008-04:002010-04-30T08:32:11.899-04:00Trampoline Tramp<b> Roger to Kara</b><br />
<br />
Hello,<br />
I see you have a trampoline that you want to get rid of. My son Darius<br />
turns 9 today, and I think him and his friends would really love something<br />
like a trampoline for his birthday party coming up this weekend.<br />
Where are you located?<br />
Thanks,<br />
Roger<br />
<br />
<b>Kara to Roger</b><br />
<br />
Its the safety net enclosure only.<br />
<br />
<b>Roger to Kara</b><br />
<br />
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? Your ad clearly states that you are selling "a trampoline". Is the ad a mistake? <br />
I'LL BUY THE TRAMPOLINE TOO.<br />
HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT FOR IT?<br />
<br />
<b>Kara to Roger</b><br />
<br />
I m not selling the trampoline<br />
<br />
<i><b><previous message=""></previous></b></i><b><previous message="">Roger to Darius</previous></b><i><br />
</i><br />
<i> Darius,<br />
I was going to buy a trampoline off this lady (moron), but she isn't selling a trampoline she says now. I don't know why she is being so racist, but it looks like we might have to just get a clown or a petting zoo or something for your birthday.<br />
Sorry,<br />
Love,<br />
Dad</i><br />
<br />
<b>Darius to Roger CC:Kara (with the previous e-mail attached)</b><br />
<dad><kara><br />
DAD!!! A CLOWN IS SO DUMB! I AM NOT 5! <br />
U TOLD ME U FOUND A TRAMPELENE!!!!!!! THIS GIRL IS DUMB AND SHE DOESNT EVEN WANT TO SELL IT TO US NOW!?!??!?<br />
WHAT KIND OF LOSER DOES THAT!!!!<br />
TELL HER WE WANT IT OR ELSE<br />
<br />
<b>Kara to Roger CC:Darius</b><br />
<br />
F*** OFF...don t be a cheap ass and go buy 1 from a store (like I did for my son)<br />
<br />
<b>Roger to Kara</b><br />
What kind of way is that to speak to a child!? Especially on his birthday! I'm typing this e-mail and my groin is completely soaked. Soaked from the tears of Darius as he cries on my lap. You've got some nerve lady. You post an ad for a trampoline for sale and then you get enraged when I want to buy it. I don't know if this is a race thing, or you're having marital problems or its just a heavy day, but I don't appreciate you treating my son like you would treat one of your little spawn terrors.<br />
Hopefully our children aren't in the same school district. If they are, then I can only pray that you provided them plenty of your genes so they'll never advance past 3rd grade.<br />
That being said, if you still have the trampoline, I'll give you $60 for it.<br />
Please let me know.<br />
-Roger</kara></dad>Roger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-66300697254566837152010-04-28T05:49:00.001-04:002010-04-28T12:37:24.741-04:00Baltimore Road Trip<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><b>Roger to Bernard</b><br />
<br />
Good afternoon,<br />
I see you're headed to Baltimore today. Any chance I can ride along with my son Darius?<br />
Thanks,<br />
Roger<br />
<b><br />
Bernard to Roger</b><br />
Oh shoot! I meant to write Sunday! Just fixed the post.<br />
Would you still be interested in that case? Plenty of room for 2 people; luggage too if you have it.<br />
<br />
-Bernard<br />
<br />
<b>Roger to Bernard</b><br />
<br />
Bernard (Saint Bernard! HAHA, i LOVE dogs!),<br />
Sunday, would work as well. We just need to be there by Monday, I'm not sure if you have a fast car or what. We don't have much luggage just one bag, but we do have some rather peculiar cargo. We're headed to Baltimore for the National Livestock Convention outside the city, and my son is an amateur lambsmen. Thankfully he's only showing one lamb this year, so it won't be difficult to take it to Baltimore in your vehicle. Bojangles is a six month old ewe, so she's small and could easily fit in the back seat or in your trunk. She's very loving and well behaved. <br />
The only problem is that she's just reaching her sexual maturity, so she's currently menstruating. I know this sounds like a bother, but its really not, just part of nature. I do have diapers that I put on her, but we'd need to stop a few times to change the gauze and allow her to "do her business".<br />
Another small problem is that we just recently ran out of tampons, and I am kind of embarrassed buying them. So maybe once you pick me up you could also purchase them for me? I'd be willing to pay for them, I just want someone else to actually go through the checkout.<br />
I know this seems like a lot of trouble, but really Darius and myself are great, fun loving people. And I have quite a cassette collection of adult contemporary pop that I could bring for the car ride down.<br />
What time are you planning to leave on Sunday?<br />
Thanks,<br />
Roger<br />
<br />
<b>Bernard to Roger</b><br />
<br />
Hi! <br />
<br />
Apologies for the late reply, just got back to my computer.<br />
That IS peculiar! <br />
<br />
Where am I picking you up, and where am I dropping you off? <br />
I'm actually picking up a station wagon, which is why I'll be out there; a friend checked it out and says it's a 'creampuff,' and I need an old US-made car that's cheap to repair! It's road-ready, Ian tells me; we won't break down mid way.<br />
Just got out of a 2001 volvo in which every minor to moderate repair was $500+ guaranteed, and just rebuilding the transmission doubles the cost of the car. Sigh. <br />
<br />
I'll be coming from:<br />
*** S****** Dr<br />
********, PA *****<br />
<br />
I'll be driving to Towson, MD-- just at the top of beltway/695, where it meets with 83.<br />
Specifically 1 ******** Ct. Towson, MD 21204 if you want to mapquest it.<br />
<br />
I'll be leaving around 2pm-- but possibly earlier, too, towards 1pm<br />
<br />
Feel free to bring music!<br />
Cassettes will be good-- it's an older car :-) Maybe I'll use the money I'll be saving on the next hypothetical repair on the volvo I got rid of, and get myself a new stereo for it that takes CDs; but I won't have that on Sunday. <br />
<br />
Obviously I can go a little out of my way to pick you up, and a little out of my way to drop you off at the hotel you're choosing, so let me know where you have in mind?<br />
I think gas & tolls will be $60-$70; I won't be getting great fuel economy. Maybe you could cover travel costs? It's less than bus tickets. <br />
Just to be sure, Bojangles will not soil the car? I'm not really comfortable buying the tampons but you could use one of those self checkouts at a Giant Eagle. I'm sure she's adorable, and it'll be a fun story to tell. <br />
Do you have a number I can reach you at?<br />
-Bernard<br />
<br />
<b>Roger to Bernard</b><br />
<br />
St. Bernard!<br />
Good to hear from you again. Darius is so excited to be able to attend the convention! He was up all night brushing and playing piano to Bojangles.<br />
I'm still worried about the tampons because I'm not sure that I'll have enough diapers and gauze for the trip. Judging by her current rates, I'd estimate that we'd need to stop at least 6 times during our journey.<br />
I guess a Giant Eagle self check-out might work, but I am still kind of worried about women seeing me and thinking I am a freak. I would feel much more comfortable if you would be a pal and do it for me. Sam's Club carries a box of 300 that should make our trip accident-free.<br />
The convention is not far at all from Towson, so this will work out perfectly. Its in a town called Hurlock, MD and I checked a map I have and it should only be about 15 or 20 minutes out of the way.<br />
So I have no problem at all paying for the travel costs, but only under one condition. You allow Darius and I to sit in the front seats and you would be in the back with Bojangles. She seems to take well to strangers better and she rarely nips at their fingers and ears.<br />
I have several toys and puzzles that you could use to entertain her during the journey.<br />
The only other request that I have is that you talk in a high pitched voice. This will help to calm Bojangles. We speak to her in baby talk and I would expect you to do the same. A few months ago Bojangles broke my father in-law's jaw after he spoke to her with his deep voice.<br />
I know this seems like a lot, but I think it will all be worth it when you see the smile on Darius's face.<br />
I don't have a cell phone, but you can call this number ***-***-**** which goes directly to my pager. Upon receiving your page I will locate a pay phone and call you immediately. You can usually expect to hear from me within the same day.<br />
Thanks so much,<br />
Roger<br />
<br />
P.S. Darius made a picture for you that he insisted I send you. He says thank you soo much.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKnwD5TWJ_8x4FhIYRttuOxkFJmr966vcvVJs5SOhsT2wMzjTmkyEMnVTvR1EYY_6e0Kfxbc4hK0m71MEtrQ6eimZ4v5v-WhuBT6zfuJKfCso7MZLdz9wciaxcW6IWrIULLHAacYM8kH4/s1600/bestdayofmylife.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKnwD5TWJ_8x4FhIYRttuOxkFJmr966vcvVJs5SOhsT2wMzjTmkyEMnVTvR1EYY_6e0Kfxbc4hK0m71MEtrQ6eimZ4v5v-WhuBT6zfuJKfCso7MZLdz9wciaxcW6IWrIULLHAacYM8kH4/s400/bestdayofmylife.JPG" width="400" /></a></div> <br />
<br />
<b>Bernard to Roger</b><br />
<br />
Roger, I'm not sure where you 15-20 min from, but I checked mapquest and its over 2 hours out of the way. 30 min or a little more I could do it, but 2 hours is much too far. Your pager number is not working.<br />
I'm sorry, but I won't be able to give you and Darius a ride :( Please understand. I really enjoyed his picture and he has some serious talent. :) I hope you can find other means to the convention.<br />
-Bernard<br />
<br />
<b>Roger to Bernard</b><br />
Bernard, you might want to call mapquest. I am using a real map and its closer than you think. Maybe your computer has a virus?? <br />
If you are just making this up because you don't want to buy 300 tampons, then I wish you would just say it. I've always been honest with you and I feel like you are lying to me.<br />
Darius was crushed when I told him that you don't want to drive us and you don't like lambs. He was so enraged that he began smashing items in our home, so I had to sit on his legs for an hour until he calmed down.<br />
Have fun listening to the radio on the way down. I hope your air conditioning breaks and you get four flat tires.<br />
Have a nice life,<br />
Roger<br />
<br />
<b>Bernard to Roger</b><br />
<br />
I tried to be very accomodating to your situation, but your last email is nothing but lies. <br />
I was looking forward to meeting your family and Bojangles, but now I just feel bad for your son.<br />
HIS FATHER IS A LIAR!<br />
<br />
<b>Roger to Bernard</b><br />
<br />
I told my son that you hate lambs and he gave me this to send to you:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsrua8Gg2iutQYF0CBxs1r5863sGPY1P0r1n93-h9Pxc0M47PEh08G1_TQIuAmxfvBJ1LEwrgfaOWTvHWEk8OMnrSFgei_5Tb-aBiVp1Pb1skwPV3Rp3NPxNwbkfqrmeY8dWNL46PE3Ts/s1600/benard.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="452" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsrua8Gg2iutQYF0CBxs1r5863sGPY1P0r1n93-h9Pxc0M47PEh08G1_TQIuAmxfvBJ1LEwrgfaOWTvHWEk8OMnrSFgei_5Tb-aBiVp1Pb1skwPV3Rp3NPxNwbkfqrmeY8dWNL46PE3Ts/s640/benard.JPG" width="640" /></a></div> Roger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-83588182810042228532010-04-22T06:30:00.001-04:002010-04-22T08:26:38.131-04:00Dane Lovejoy Boxing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhBLEoWFpyJ6UVnmZKq68caJj0rEgFTMLRbEMyw7aQOZ6bEPQHhAYMBrL2t7VYCPURrgY57gxUKXnWAaAAt-WBGljzGh5eVqVV9Yx2VbNUCJgDBXI7yFhpOr9n_5e5JiTHfYXzRj0Rwu4/s1600/BK-Adult-Tshirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhBLEoWFpyJ6UVnmZKq68caJj0rEgFTMLRbEMyw7aQOZ6bEPQHhAYMBrL2t7VYCPURrgY57gxUKXnWAaAAt-WBGljzGh5eVqVV9Yx2VbNUCJgDBXI7yFhpOr9n_5e5JiTHfYXzRj0Rwu4/s320/BK-Adult-Tshirt.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<b>Roger to Steve</b><br />
<br />
Hi,<br />
I am only responding to your ad for boxing lessons because I want to absolutely destroy Dane Lovejoy. He's my neighbor's 19 year old son who constantly hosts rabid get-togethers in his backyard and keeps my wife and I up all night. I've tried nearly every peaceful resolution I can think of, but our quarrel has reached a level where a ruckus is unavoidable. <br />
You may think that I'm just being an unreasonable 44 year old man, but I am quite sane and I have had enough. This past weekend, my wife was awoken at 3am to find three teenagers defecating in our bird bath and a Kia Soul parked in my front lawn. Normally, I'd called the cops, but I have priors and I'm not on speaking terms with a lot of the boys in blue.<br />
I just want to learn some basic punches and blocking methods.<br />
Thanks for understanding,<br />
Roger P<br />
<br />
<b>Steve to Roger</b><br />
<br />
Hi Roger,<br />
We do not train people to go out be the agressors, as a matter of fact, my guys are not aloud to fight outside the gym. You need to call the boys in blue and dont let you priors stop you from doing whats right. Otherwise you will have another prior. You are more than welcome to come down and see what we are about. feel free to call me anytime!!<br />
<br />
Steve *********<br />
******* County Fight Club<br />
***-***-****<br />
<br />
<b>Roger to Steve</b><br />
<br />
Steve,<br />
Thanks for your response, I appreciate it. I don't think you fully understand the situation. I wouldn't be the aggressor in a confrontation with this kid. I mean he's defecating in my wife's bird bath for Christ's sake. I would wait until I caught him doing it again and then strike. <br />
The training I require would be purely for self-defense. Uppercut methods and melee attacks. I require no training in blocking, because I'm not very concerned about my own safety, I just want to be able to sit on my back porch and listen to Steely Dan without having to witness two teenagers dry-humping on my rhododendrons.<br />
What night could I come down to see if a class is right for me?<br />
Thanks,<br />
Roger<br />
<br />
<b>Steve to Roger</b><br />
<br />
Roger,<br />
We are up there every night except for Sunday. 5pm-7pm<br />
Beating someone up for defacating in your bird bath doesnt make it self defense but I understand why you feel like that.<br />
Steve<br />
<br />
<b>Roger to Steve</b><br />
<br />
Steve,<br />
I understand that you might disagree with my self defense idea, but its really pretty simple. My wife would be my witness and side with me saying that Dane threw a brick at me.<br />
I'm not too worried about the self defense versus assault side to this story, what I am worried about is having my face turned into mashed potatoes by Dane. He's 19, he is about 6'2 190 and he also has a 2008 Chevy Camaro with these pretty bad ass flames on the side. I mean, I hate to admit it, but this kid is the real deal. Honestly, in your professional opinion what are my chances here?<br />
I'm 5'9 ish about 222, but I am Scotch Irish. Do you think I could train for a week at your club and get in enough body blows to make him stay off my lawn? Or do I need to try another approach? <br />
I've already inquired about bow staff lessons at a Karate center and my friend Carl used to sell drugs and he thinks he could get steroids for me. I just don't know if I wanna take that risk with my health and life because my grapes are already closer to blueberries.<br />
-Roger P<br />
<br />
<b>Steve to Roger</b><br />
<br />
You're in your 40's and you are going to beat up a kid who it seems like you are jealous of. You should train to better your health, and getting in fights and using drugs isn't going to do that.<br />
Steve<br />
<br />
<b>Roger to Steve (2 weeks later)</b><br />
<br />
Steve! Great news man! Last night Dane was trying to show off for some girl and totaled his Camaro! He's gonna be in the hospital for weeks, maybe even months. He is still alive and breathing, but its gonna be tough for him to party in my lawn with no legs!!!!!<br />
Thanks for everything man! I am gonna go enjoy enjoy a scotch and some UB40 on my porch.<br />
Cheers,<br />
RogerRoger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-71062592896686432192010-04-17T10:34:00.001-04:002010-04-20T10:47:15.990-04:00Karate Lessons<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwJXS4kJTlNf0r1CIPnYLmUDkdlUhqDW5SYO4oS6uLo6lNpG8nqA9hPx2dxdWr2RPzqBou5qbcUKaMlJVIY0KjeSrHvS2QzgPWm4JyvBw_jALKx88Iw1Hsy3ultcAgfZ9MRVmeBNOPdAo/s1600/karate-stance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwJXS4kJTlNf0r1CIPnYLmUDkdlUhqDW5SYO4oS6uLo6lNpG8nqA9hPx2dxdWr2RPzqBou5qbcUKaMlJVIY0KjeSrHvS2QzgPWm4JyvBw_jALKx88Iw1Hsy3ultcAgfZ9MRVmeBNOPdAo/s320/karate-stance.jpg" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>From Roger to Matt **********</b><br />
Hi,<br />
I feel kind of dumb e-mailing about Karate classes, but I really need to learn some take-downs and weaponry basics.<br />
I'm 41 and I haven't had any sort of formal Karate training other than watching a few Kung-Fu movies (haha, if you count that).<br />
What sort of class would you recommend for my age and experience level?<br />
Gentle Tidings,<br />
Roger<br />
<br />
<b>From Matt ********** to Roger</b> </div><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Hello,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Thank you for your interest. I teach karate and traditional okinawian weaponry, starting with the 6 ft staff. I am also a long time practioner of judo and am well versed in judo takedowns and ground work. However I do not teach any judo based takedowns in the adult karate classes. I am not opposed to teaching them on an alternate night from the karate classes but at this point I do not offer classes in judo/takedowns. The best thing I can say would be to stop down and watch a class and see if it is for you. You can take part if you wish. I offer a free month of instruction to see if it is the right fit. Classes comprise of conditioning exercises (push ups, sit ups, squats etc) mixed with kicking, punching and footwork. At some point we will also practice weaponry during class. We recommend new students to pace themselves and work into our routine slowly. There is no pressure or expectation that new students will jump right in and be familiar with our exercises. If you would like, private introductory classes can be arranged at no charge if this is a better fit. As far as a recommendation, I would say visit schools and ask questions. Early on I was concerned with what style was being taught. I have learned through experience that the instructor is much more important than the style. The quality of instruction and the feel of the dojo are what I would be paying attention to. May I ask what is motivating you to start practicing?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">P.S: Here is the website for our studio. If you look at the pictures you will notice the children's class grappling. I find that children take to wrestling faster than sparring. not only are they generally more comfortable but they can grapple with much more effort than with sparring. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">matt</span><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">From Roger to Matt **********</b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Matt,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Thanks for emailing me back. It looks like you know a lot of cool stuff about karate and fights. The classes you offer sound interesting, but I really have an interest in nun chucks and breaking boards with parts of my body. I always see this in movies and it seems like something that really impresses women. I'm a single father and at 41, I'm not getting any younger or hipper. I attend a Zumba and recreational volleyball league with a co-worker named Karen. She's 36 and is really great, but I'm not sure how she feels about me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I don't want to end up in the friend zone, and I feel the only way to avoid that would be to impress her by breaking some boards with my forearms or head.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Do you offer any classes in body part board breaking or at the very least a nun chuck class. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I already have my own set of nun chucks so you wouldn't have to worry about providing them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Also, I appreciate your information on the children's grappling class, but I'm 41 years and I don't need any help learning how to beat up a kid.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Thanks,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Roger P</span><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">From Matt ********** to Roger</b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">hello,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I see little value in board braking (personal opinion). I do not teach it, and the children's grappling class is not for adults, it was just a bit of information about my dojo. We do teach the nun chucks, however, they are not taught until blue belt. There is not fixed time frame but blue belt takes 3+ years to reach.... If you want to get in shape and learn the basics of the staff, then I can help you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I appreciate your interest. Please let me know if i can be of further assistance.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">matt</span><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">From Roger to Matt ******</b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You see little value in absolutely destroying a 4 inch piece of maple with your forehead or palm?? Are you kidding me Matt or are you just unable to break a board?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Listen, I'll give you 40 bucks to show me how to karate chop some logs and beat someone with nunchuks. I just want to catch Karen's eye and let her husband know he has some competition.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">-Roger</span><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">From Matt ******* to Roger</b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I don't think you understand karate and its teachings. I teach karate as a method of self defense and self discipline. I will NOT teach an agressor who has intentions of harming someone else.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I offer introductory classes, which are $50 for 3 basics lessons. These lessons do not cover breaking boards or nun chucks.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">matt</span><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">From Roger to Matt ********</b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Matt,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It sounds to me like you are running a powder puff football camp for teddy bears. Last time I checked, Bruce Lee didn't kill the bad guys and get the girl after taking a children's grappling class.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Its time you step up and be a man. I will pay you $60 to teach me to perform 3 of the following moves:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">1. Break a 2 x 4 with my face</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">2. Kick someone really hard</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">3. Throw a ninja star</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">4. Break a man's leg (without using a hockey stick)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">5. Be awesome at nun chucks</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">6. Stop a man's heart for a couple of seconds just by touching him gently (not in a gay way)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If you can think of any other cool things you know how to do then send me your ideas. What time can I come to your dojo?</span><br />
<b style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
From Matt ******** to Roger</b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Roger,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I DO NOT teach aggressors. The tone of your emails is a violent one. I am sorry, but I cannot train you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Thanks for your interest and good luck,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Matt</span><br />
<b style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
From Roger to Matt ************</b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Matt, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was just kidding around, I don't really want to break Karen's husband's femur. I was joking man.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Can you teach me please?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Cordially,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Roger</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">P.S. I also want to learn how to dislocate a person's hips.</span>Roger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-82107974613721056332010-01-22T07:00:00.000-05:002010-01-22T16:30:25.451-05:00Puppies!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZuXudLbl7O0HmJ0bs5yN4A1GMrFYHOxEjhXCYBptTwhvStZwaeNvdQ03UuWptaTt6CN3qNPmDjxX-h9mV-ogDCxSl6x3T4UIU6xjq9Su6-FNqHs66LmKyP4udlX-fpK3n9P2dBhGDXkg/s1600-h/6707-bigthumbnail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZuXudLbl7O0HmJ0bs5yN4A1GMrFYHOxEjhXCYBptTwhvStZwaeNvdQ03UuWptaTt6CN3qNPmDjxX-h9mV-ogDCxSl6x3T4UIU6xjq9Su6-FNqHs66LmKyP4udlX-fpK3n9P2dBhGDXkg/s320/6707-bigthumbnail.jpg" /></a><br />
</div><br />
<b>From Roger to Amy</b><br />
<br />
Hi I saw you are selling golden retriever puppies and I definitely would like to get my "paws" on them. ;) I just know my son Darius would love to come downstairs one morning and find a cute little puppy sleeping on our kitchen island.<br />
How much do you want for one?<br />
-Roger "Paw"dacter<br />
<b><br />
From Amy to Roger</b><br />
<br />
I am asking $400.00<br />
let me know if you are interested and will send pics<br />
Amy<br />
<br />
<b>From Roger to Amy</b><br />
<br />
Amy,<br />
Would it be possible to have one of the dogs this Saturday afternoon?<br />
Thanks,<br />
Roger<br />
<br />
<b>From Amy to Roger</b><br />
<br />
Roger...They go to the vet on Saturday for the rest of the shots and wormed. Will check with the vet. What are you looking for? male or female?<br />
<br />
<b>From Roger to Amy</b><br />
<br />
Thanks for getting back to me Amy, actually I don't really have a preference as far as sex goes.<br />
I only have one request really. I'm a 43 yr old single father of one beautiful boy, and I'm trying to find a mother for that boy.<br />
Last month I joined a Zumba class in order to meet women. My first night there I met a 23 year old who works in Mount Lebanon named Lindsey. I didn't actually realize how strenuous and difficult Zumba really is, and I doubt I can make it much further. The first night, I perspired nearly a gallon of sweat, and I was so sore I missed work the next three days. But I haven't actually talked to Lindsey yet, besides asking to borrow her headband.<br />
This leads me to you. No, I'm not talking about dating you! I hardly know you. But I think if you could let me "borrow" one of your puppies for Saturday's Zumba class, I could really impress her. After the class I would have no need for the dog, unless Lindsey decides she wants to date me.<br />
So I would definitely need a dog for Saturday. But I might possibly purchase the dog since Lindsey would be expecting me to own it beyond Saturday. I couldn't just lie and say it got hit by a car, she would think I am an irresponsible person.<br />
Would it be possible to give you say 25% of the cost on Saturday morning, and then if Lindsey is going to date me, I can give you the other 75%. Obviously, if she doesn't talk to me, then I would just return the dog to you Saturday after Zumba, and get back my 25%.<br />
I know you may think I am a weirdo. Do you want me to just call you tonight so I can explain more?<br />
Thanks,<br />
Roger<br />
<br />
<b>From Amy to Roger</b><br />
<br />
You are insane and should not own any pets! god help your son<br />
<br />
<b>From Roger to Amy</b><br />
<br />
I expected you to play hard ball, so I am willing to offer you $800 for the dog. Obviously I would get this money back if Lindsey is not interested in me.<br />
<br />
<b>From Amy to Roger</b><br />
<br />
i dont care if you offered a million. you are not getting one of the dogs whacko!<br />
<br />
<b>From Roger to Amy</b><br />
<br />
Ok obviously you are hesitant to lend me one of the dogs in order to help my son have a better childhood. I have thought of another plan that will not require you to lend me a puppy.<br />
On Saturday you will drive to my Zumba class in Scottdale along with the puppies. Towards the end of the Zumba class you will enter the dance studio with the puppies and motion for me to come over.<br />
I will leave the class and we will pretend like we are talking (make sure Lindsey sees this). At this point I will pay you $40 and you can leave with the dogs. <br />
I will then return to the class crying. Lindsey will ask me what is wrong and I will inform her that you were just struck by a drunk driver in the parking lot and killed. She will obviously feel bad for me and try to comfort my aching heart. At this point I will ask her to come to Dairy Queen with me.<br />
After that we will most likely begin dating and eventually get married.<br />
Obviously I would need your full name and some general information about yourself in order to write up a fake obituary to make her believe the story.<br />
I am willing to negotiate on the $40 fee.<br />
-Roger<br />
<br />
<b>From Amy to Roger</b><br />
<br />
**** YOU.Roger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-36105505758153758302009-12-21T04:00:00.001-05:002009-12-21T04:00:03.525-05:00Free Clown Painting<div style="font-family: times new roman,new york,times,serif; font-size: 12pt;"><div> ORIGINAL AD:<br />
</div><div><i><b>FREE Oil Painting</b></i> <br />
</div><div><i><b>Mime Painting about 50x50 <br />
Bottom left corner reads <br />
'76 Clista</b></i><br />
</div><div><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb_0P4Sx9WvbA7qmDQQukNKBIbwUe9WZNafRN687PwXSOJTujFTeoW_zvbQRgT30mUKgEeqv8ZQ-xl8nH7WrFEi8OOPa-FXwcDMZtLlECpC6JVamGjYbDw6ZYQ8kuTqtAbiAGYiVM9uJw/s1600-h/3kd3m73p85Ue5Pa5Se9c826be037259d31230.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb_0P4Sx9WvbA7qmDQQukNKBIbwUe9WZNafRN687PwXSOJTujFTeoW_zvbQRgT30mUKgEeqv8ZQ-xl8nH7WrFEi8OOPa-FXwcDMZtLlECpC6JVamGjYbDw6ZYQ8kuTqtAbiAGYiVM9uJw/s320/3kd3m73p85Ue5Pa5Se9c826be037259d31230.jpg" /></a><br />
</div><div><br />
</div><div></div><div><b>From Dewayne Neederlander</b><br />
</div><div><b>To Brad</b><br />
</div><div>Good afternoon,<br />
I was recently browsing Craigslist when I came across your oil painting which you claim is a Clista. Do you still have it?<br />
Thank you,<br />
Dewayne<br />
<br />
<b>From Brad</b><br />
<b>To Dewayne</b><br />
sorry got zero responses and threw it out wednesday.<br />
<br />
<div><b>From Dewayne Neederlander</b><br />
</div><div><b>To Brad</b><br />
</div>Brad, this news is most unfortunate and I hate to be the one to break it to you. You see that particular painting was Clista's first and has an estimated auction value of over $5,000. I would have gladly given you quite a bit for it so I could display it in my gallery.<br />
</div><div><br />
</div><div><b>From Brad</b><br />
</div><div><b>To Dewayne Neederlander</b><br />
</div><div>suuuuuuuuuure idiot<br />
</div><div><br />
</div><div><b>From Dewayne</b><br />
</div><div><b>To Brad</b><br />
</div><div>Laugh all you want Brad, but I'm not the one who potentially threw away $5,000.<br />
</div><div><br />
</div><div>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />
</div><div><b> <span style="font-size: large;">PART 2</span></b><br />
</div><div><b><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
</b><br />
</div><div><b>From Roger Podacter</b><br />
</div><div><b>To Brad</b><br />
</div><div>Greetings, I saw your Clista on-line. Do you still have the painting? Don't allow yourself to be ripped off for it, I will pay top dollar.<br />
</div><div></div><div>-Roger<br />
</div><div><br />
</div><div><b>From Brad</b><br />
</div><div><b>To Roger</b><br />
</div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div>what is special about this guy? it looked like a kid painted it<br />
</div><div><br />
</div><div><div><b>From Roger</b><br />
</div><div><b>To Brad</b><br />
</div><div>Brad,<br />
</div>Clista was not a guy, she was a little-known female painter who created concrete paintings using abstract methods. Did you already sell the painting? If so, I hope you got more than $3,000 AT LEAST.<br />
</div><div>-Roger<br />
</div><div><br />
</div><div><b>From Brad</b><br />
</div><div><b>To Roger</b><br />
</div><div>i threw the painting away on wednesday. where does nyds take collection from woodside 63rdst and 50ave? i still know this is jamie. <br />
</div><div><br />
</div><div><b>From Roger</b><br />
</div><div><b>To Brad</b><br />
</div><div>Brad,<br />
</div><div>Jamie? Please tell me that you didn't throw away an original Clista. The painting you have is quite valuable if it is indeed a Clista original. The "clown" painting that you described in your listing is actually Clista's first painting, which she did at the age of 7. It's not an oil painting as you state, its actually Clista's own fecal matter which she dyed and used. Hence the painting's name, "The Brown Clown".<br />
</div><div><br />
</div><div><b>From Brad</b><br />
</div><div><b>To Roger</b><br />
</div><div>**** you! i knew it<br />
</div><div><br />
</div><div><b>From Roger</b><br />
</div><div><b>To Brad</b><br />
</div><div>I GOT YOU SO BAD DUDE!!!<br />
</div><div>-JAMIE<br />
</div></div>Roger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-64780688523540881382009-12-18T04:00:00.000-05:002009-12-18T04:00:05.015-05:00World War 2 Collectibles<b>From Roger Podacter <br />
To Karl</b><br />
Hi, I saw your thing on-line that you are looking to buy some WW2 stuff. My dad's father was in WW2, but we're not exactly sure where. He never did like to talk about it much. He was killed this past summer in an explosion in his garage which our local police department still hasn't figured out. We've been slowly going through his personal items the last couple months. We did find a couple boxes of old war stuff in his attic, but no one in my family is really interested that. I've been really enjoying a lot of his old pictures and hand tools.<br />
I do have 2 pictures, but I could get more if you like. He had helmets, medals (no trophies), dog tags, a few small daggers and then some misc items (some of which I have no idea about).<br />
I've attached the 2 pictures, when is clearly a helmet for some unit or group. The other I have no idea about, he's got about 4 of them.<br />
Let me know how much you'd be willing to give for them. We're really just looking to get rid of them, otherwise they'll just be tossed out.<br />
Thanks,<br />
Roger<br />
<b></b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgsUFDJPdAFGoMcFKRw5cYWDoYpYFMoANYFIp3P4m-RCYzSF1uXFIoxCP0DGuVgveBQmIs1u7KYKX3gsog5vE8YbQf9XV0AZJ0GEVg0eMswNUoh5OpDuuOxApq5pz-Qx1XnLeN62w_Dfw/s1600-h/dcs120221.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgsUFDJPdAFGoMcFKRw5cYWDoYpYFMoANYFIp3P4m-RCYzSF1uXFIoxCP0DGuVgveBQmIs1u7KYKX3gsog5vE8YbQf9XV0AZJ0GEVg0eMswNUoh5OpDuuOxApq5pz-Qx1XnLeN62w_Dfw/s320/dcs120221.jpg" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFpIwsSVLnMZk9ceHrOOE_a_ZN4xtuBJl1no8LnVdeSBzAa_JBwHHbzJ7tXxqqWk4bg1VAk-bLA6x8vnlRw8pzkZymq1jLvcbJEtCVyTACaQz-rgQdy_FAkOzo03H4Fy1qTPPP18sk2f8/s1600-h/dcs120222.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFpIwsSVLnMZk9ceHrOOE_a_ZN4xtuBJl1no8LnVdeSBzAa_JBwHHbzJ7tXxqqWk4bg1VAk-bLA6x8vnlRw8pzkZymq1jLvcbJEtCVyTACaQz-rgQdy_FAkOzo03H4Fy1qTPPP18sk2f8/s320/dcs120222.jpg" /></a><br />
</div><b><br />
From Karl<br />
To Roger</b><br />
Hi Roger,<br />
Thanks, got the photos. The helmet is a civilian police and the other item looks like a land mine, deactivated I would think. <br />
Do you have any other photos of the other helmets and daggers? If so I'd be very interested in buying them and possibly other items. <br />
Where are you located?<br />
<br />
Best Regards,<br />
Karl ******* <br />
<b><br />
From Roger<br />
To Karl</b><br />
A LANDMINE!?!?!? Are you sure? How do I check to make sure its deactivated? Is it worth more if its active?<br />
I'm located in Somerset, but I could meet you halfway from wherever you are. <br />
<br />
<b>From Karl<br />
To Roger</b><br />
Just be very careful handling it, I need to go out for a few hours, I'll check back about 12:30.<br />
<br />
<b>From Roger<br />
To Karl</b><br />
Karl, is there anyway I can tell if its active? I am getting pretty nervous about this. <br />
I called the detective who is working on my grandfather's case and informed him of the landmines. They've been looking for the source of the explosion that killed him, and this could be a viable option. <br />
What is usual lifetime of these things? Could that be possible?<br />
I'm just too nervous and scared, I am moving this thing outside.<br />
<br />
<b>From Roger<br />
To Karl</b><br />
Karl,<br />
Please get back to me as soon as you can. My brother-in-law Dewayne is an ex-marine and is a huge weapon nutjob. He's out in the yard right now and messing around with it. Its making me quite nervous. <br />
I doubt that the thing would still be active and thats what actually killed my grandfather, but I just don't want to take that risk.<br />
-Roger<br />
<b><br />
From Karl<br />
To Roger</b><br />
Glad it's outside, I'll try to find out what I can. Will be gone until this evening and will check back then.<br />
<br />
<b><i><sent evening="" later="" that=""></sent></i><br />
From Karl<br />
To Roger</b><br />
Roger,<br />
I hope all is well with the mine. I'm still interested in the other items you have. If you could send some photos of the other helmets and daggers and any metals that look like German I'd appreciated it.<br />
Best Regards,<br />
Karl ****** <br />
<br />
<b><i><sent days="" later="" three=""></sent></i><br />
From Roger<br />
To Karl</b><br />
Karl,<br />
I never should have listened to you and assumed the mine was inactive. Friday afternoon I was taking some digital photos of some of the war items to send to you, when I was startled by my grandfather's lawnmower puncturing the outer walls of my 2nd story office. My brother in-law Dewayne was attempting to determine if the land mine was active or not by having his raccoon Kevin run at it and leap onto it. On the first attempt the mine detonated and sent a small shock wave through my grandfather's lawn. A small shed, an older pick-up, part of the kitchen and living room and a weeping willow were destroyed. Kevin did not survive the blast. Dewayne was mostly fine, he's lost hearing in his right ear and had two of his legs sheared off.<br />
Obviously none of this would have been possible without your help. (I'm being sarcastic). I'm not going to hold a grudge though, but there is no way I am selling you any of my grandfather's old war items. These are dangerous if they wind up in untrained hands. Sorry for my harsh tone, but its been a rough weekend.<br />
-RogerRoger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-87394218259988363072009-12-16T04:00:00.003-05:002009-12-16T04:00:00.296-05:00Golden Corral Buffet<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgha4dQOiepAAUM57h3YhrVantof9_iuk9vXpBX3v44DTFgBLGSP032-NMO7Oh1u732b5Ym0Wktw_VkGVXxTXJTlJgJblKvyVttvMKqtU_bKvTAQ8ZJodQasZO81Y4s4sbOfwmyOeS30c/s1600-h/goldencorral.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgha4dQOiepAAUM57h3YhrVantof9_iuk9vXpBX3v44DTFgBLGSP032-NMO7Oh1u732b5Ym0Wktw_VkGVXxTXJTlJgJblKvyVttvMKqtU_bKvTAQ8ZJodQasZO81Y4s4sbOfwmyOeS30c/s320/goldencorral.jpg" /></a><br />
</div><br />
<b>From Dewayne Neederlander</b><br />
<b>To Golden Corral</b><br />
<br />
Good afternoon, I am currently dating a beautiful young lady whom I wish to propose to this weekend. I am planning on doing so in your restaurant and I want to make it extra special. My grandma passed away last spring, and she left me her wedding jewelry. I am planning on giving this to Christine. It includes a necklace with opal pendant, a diamond ring and 4 gold bracelets. I would like for your chef to place these items into my girlfriend's food, so it will really surprise her. I would be willing to pay your chef extra to do so. I've seen this done in movies all the time and I would really like to give her a Hollywood moment.<br />
<br />
<b>From Becky</b><br />
<b>To Dewayne</b><br />
<br />
Thank you for contacting our Millbrook Road Raleigh Golden Corral location. We appreciate your comments and will forward them to the proper channels. You asked about our menu selections, the following link will guide you through all our delicious selections:<br />
<a href="http://www.goldencorral.com/menu/hot.asp">Golden Corral Menu Items</a><br />
Thank you for contacting the Golden Corral customer service department, and have a great day!<br />
-Becky ************<br />
<br />
<b>From Dewayne</b><br />
<b>To Becky</b><br />
Becky,<br />
I don't think you understood my request. I want to propose to my girlfriend Christine this weekend, and I need to set-up the perfect way to do it. I know she loves your restaurant, so I just need a chef or waitress or whoever from your restaurant to meet me before our dinner and place 5 jewelry items in her food.<br />
Then she will find the items while eating and say "yes" to marry me.<br />
Please respond soon,<br />
Dewayne<br />
<br />
<b>From Becky</b><br />
<b>To Dewayne</b><br />
Thank you for request at our Millbrook Road Raleigh Golden Corral location. We appreciate your patronage and though we strive to meet all of our customers' needs, we cannot handle a request of this nature. Our restaurant is a buffett, so we would be risking the other customer's safety by placing foreign objects into our food. Thank you for contacting the Golden Corral customer service department, and have a great day!<br />
-Becky ************<br />
<br />
<b>From Dewayne</b><br />
<b>To Becky</b><br />
Becky,<br />
I don't think you're understanding me here. You need to help me, and if you aren't the one with the power please put me in contact with someone who can. Maybe a cook's phone number? Or the manager's e-mail address?<br />
I am willing to pay extra to have the ring baked into some meatloaf, and the bracelets into onion rings. I already told her we are going to Golden Corral, so I can't change plans. But if you are unwilling to help me, then I will be forced to go with Plan B.<br />
This involves my brother in-law Roger's son Darius. He is only 8, but is a well seasoned amateur stuntkid. He will create a diversion outside the restaurant by faking his own suicide. Once all of your patrons are outside and witnessing Darius teetering on the edge of the roof, he will quickly leap into an air duct. He will then rappel from the ceiling through the duct directly above our table. Then deliver the ring in box to Christine. At this point we will have peace and quiet and the whole restaurant to ourselves, since the majority of your customers will be outside worried about Darius.<br />
I'd rather not risk Darius's life with Plan B, so please help me out.<br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>From Richard</b><br />
<b>To Dewayne</b><br />
<br />
We have no problem with you proposing to your girlfriend in any of our restaurants, but it is completely unacceptable for you to do it in any of the scenarios you outlined in your previous e-mails. These scenarios would all be a serious safety risk and a potential hazard to all of our staff and customers.<br />
All of your previous e-mails have been cataloged as well as your IP address. If you have any further questions please don't hesitate to contact me at ***-***-****.<br />
Richard ***********<br />
Golden Corral Corporation<br />
5151 Glenwood Ave.<br />
Raleigh, NC 27612Roger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-75003585643664988322009-12-14T05:00:00.001-05:002009-12-14T18:36:27.208-05:00Camper Wheel n' Deal<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTVa5-VQw8Ds7-1kGENfZLtjgyROszHlony07XrT897HZEOoPb4xFS4pvTeCmc_AMpzOPzQYuYeY96knsfm0CD73ji1jMuPDJY33t5tRaAYQS0Zhz65Wq67yqK4WZ_rklhEeSdtSmZTDs/s1600-h/burglar.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTVa5-VQw8Ds7-1kGENfZLtjgyROszHlony07XrT897HZEOoPb4xFS4pvTeCmc_AMpzOPzQYuYeY96knsfm0CD73ji1jMuPDJY33t5tRaAYQS0Zhz65Wq67yqK4WZ_rklhEeSdtSmZTDs/s320/burglar.gif" /></a><br />
</div><br />
<b>From Roger Podacter<br />
To Dan</b><br />
<br />
I saw you are looking for an old junk trailer. I have an old junk trailer you can definitely have. Its about 14 or 16ft and its been sitting next to my house for about 10 years. Please come take it, this thing is an eyesore. <br />
I'm located in Hunker, PA. If you are gonna take it you are going to need help, but I am not going to help.<br />
Let me know if you are interested.<br />
Roger<br />
<br />
<b>From Dan<br />
To Roger</b><br />
<br />
Interested-what kind of trailer is it? Camping trailor,pop-up,flat trailor?Can it be towed?If you could send a pic i would know better what i am dealing with.I hate it with all of the questions,but I live in Leechburg,so it would be a little haul to get it home. Any title? Thanks. My cell # is ***-**-****. Dan.<br />
<br />
<b>From Roger<br />
To Dan</b><br />
<br />
Its definitely a camping trailer. Its huge and really gets my blood boiling every morning it sits near my house. The thing has honestly been there 10 plus years and I've never even seen them use it.<br />
I'll try and get a picture today.<br />
<br />
<b>From Dan<br />
To Roger</b><br />
<br />
Is it towable?<br />
<br />
<b>From Roger<br />
To Dan</b><br />
<br />
It definitely is and its right in the driveway. But he's got it on concrete blocks right now, and it looks like the back tire is a little flat.<br />
<br />
<b>From Dan<br />
To Roger</b><br />
<br />
so it's not yours?<br />
<br />
<b>From Roger<br />
To Dan</b><br />
<br />
well its my neighbors. but the guy is completely lazy. that thing has been sitting there forever! he probably just hasn't gotten up off his lazy ass to move it. I rarely see him doing any yardwork or home improvements. the only time I see him is when he's wife is loading him into their van.<br />
you could probably fix this thing up and it'd be like new. you just need to make sure you come while his wife is at work or sometime late at night.<br />
honestly, this thing is a black-eye on the neighborhood, and i know a lot of the neighbors would appreciate it.<br />
<br />
<b>From Dan<br />
To Roger</b><br />
<br />
I understand,but i don't think i would need any hassle . Thanks.<br />
<b><br />
From Roger<br />
To Dan</b><br />
<br />
Wait Dan, just listen. If you're worried about getting caught its not really something to worry about. Ned's wife is the breadwinner and works all the time. You could easily get the trailer anytime during the day. Ned is home all day, but even if he spots you it won't matter. His driveway is stone and he is in a wheelchair.<br />
<b><br />
From Dan<br />
To Roger<br />
</b><br />
Ya, but there is still the phone and the police.Thanks anyway.<br />
<br />
<b>From Roger<br />
To Dan</b><br />
<br />
Dan, we just need to work out the details. I didn't even think of the phone, nice catch.<br />
Here's what we could:<br />
1. We set-up a pre-arranged time to make the swipe. You'll need a truck with hitch and at least 2-3 helpers/henchmen.<br />
2. We meet in my den and dress/hand-out walkie talkies. All black shirts, pants, gloves, shoes and ski caps.<br />
3. By this point in our plan I have already installed a zip-line from my bedroom window to his house. I zip down to his house undetected and scale the roof. I then cut the phone and power lines to his house.<br />
4. At this point you and your crew will have about 3 hours to safely remove the trailer before Ned is able to use his arms and mouth to crawl out of the house and shout for help.<br />
<br />
A couple things:<br />
- I will try and do some recon in the next couple days to determine if he owns a cell phone. This would be a set-back, but not a deal-breaker. In the event he has a cell phone, we'll just need one more guy to breach the front door with a battering ram, throw 2 flash bang grenades and smash the phone the moment we cut the power and phone lines.<br />
- If at any point we are caught, you cannot mention my name or our association.<br />
<br />
Now that we have all the bases covered with a full-proof plan I will call you around 1pm so we can set-up a date. Also, you should start gathering some men for the team.<br />
<br />
<b>From Dan<br />
To Roger</b><br />
<br />
Why not ask them if they would want it gone? You have someone to get rid of it for them. That would be a lot easier than your completely illegal plan.<br />
<br />
<b>SENT 2 DAYS LATER</b><br />
<br />
<b>From Roger<br />
To Dan</b><br />
<br />
No need for your help now. Ned died last night so the trailer will be scraped or sold soon I would imagine. He was caroling in our neighborhood when his group came to my house. My driveway is quite steep and his wheelchair couldn't handle it. He lost control and streaked down my driveway and directly into my wife's Mitsubishi Galant, crushing his skull into the passenger door.<br />
He died on impact. The car damage was nearly $2,000 and after some haggling his wife is going to pay half. Let me know if you're still interested in the trailer, and we could develop a new plan.Roger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-26161160864569018742009-12-10T06:00:00.000-05:002009-12-10T12:55:58.270-05:00Dog Trainer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhume3lpkQgcEfxDGZNxd9t1UHDkCxi7iEL_cMbK9cPUqn8NmcqxXwP2mI-TAjJaNFlkiW1p3PudRGBF6RvjkFTMubKSYH24avqAYPVcAlRuSRhD6YrYHKA41TAc1JMgrjUJsceq0b6psY/s1600-h/3358965222_8b0430449e_b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhume3lpkQgcEfxDGZNxd9t1UHDkCxi7iEL_cMbK9cPUqn8NmcqxXwP2mI-TAjJaNFlkiW1p3PudRGBF6RvjkFTMubKSYH24avqAYPVcAlRuSRhD6YrYHKA41TAc1JMgrjUJsceq0b6psY/s320/3358965222_8b0430449e_b.jpg" /></a><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: small;">From: Roger</span></b><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: small;">To: Gary</span></b><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Hi, I saw your ad on-line for dog training services. I was wondering if you train other animals as well?<br />
</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Thanks,</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Roger</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: small;">From: Gary</span></b><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: small;">To: Roger</span></b><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Thank you for your email. Unfortunately, the only animals I have certification to train are dogs. I'm assuming you have a horse that you are looking to break. I do know some collegues who break horses if you are interested. </span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> <br />
<br />
<br />
<b>From: Roger</b><br />
<b>To: Gary</b><br />
<br />
Gary,<br />
Thanks for your response, but I really need a fish trainer. I am planning on proposing to my girlfriend Janelle, and I really want to make it special. She loves animals, especially her goldfish Lucille. She is named after Lucille Ball, but I actually think the fish is a male, I just haven't had the heart to tell her. I'm a doctor, so I can usually tell.<br />
I just purchased the engagement ring last week, and I'd like to propose around Christmas. I just need someone to train Lucille to hold the ring in his mouth and then jump from his tank onto Janelle's lap while we are watching Friends. Then I can pop the question.<br />
I've been trying to save money and train the fish myself, but so far all I can get it to do is nibble the ring.<br />
-Roger<br />
<br />
<b>From: Gary</b><br />
<b>To: Roger</b><br />
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div>That's the best one I've heard this week. Good Luck joker.<br />
</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>From: Roger</b><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>To: Gary</b><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I am not joking Gary. I really need a fish trainer, because I love my girlfriend. E-mail me your collegues contact information. Hopefully they are nicer than you are.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> <br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> <br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>From: Roger</b><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>To: Gary</b><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Hey numbskull! You gonna e-mail those contacts over to me or what?!<br />
</div> <br />
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>From: Gary</b><br />
<b>To: Roger</b><br />
<br />
You insult me and expect me to play your and send you contacts? ***hole <br />
<br />
</span> <br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>From: Roger</b><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>To: Gary</b><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Gary, thanks for nothing! Thanks to you my life is in ruins. I spent the last 2 weeks working with Lucille 8 hours a day. Last night, I felt confident enough that the fish was finally ready. Janelle and I began to watch "Remember the Titans" on Blu-Ray DVD. Before she got home from work I removed the ring from its box and placed it into Lucille's mouth for safe keeping. I watched intently, and Lucille waited for the signal. Right as the brick goes through Coach Boone's window, I watched Lucille leap from the tank. <br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What I didn't realize was that my cat Colonel Pumpenfunkels had been scouting every training session I had with Lucille. I watched in horror as Colonel Pumpenfunkels launched himself onto the couch and snared Lucille out of the air and down his mouth. I immediately lunged for my cat who had just swallowed my girlfriend's $8,000 engagement ring, and Janelle began to tear up at the loss of her fish. <br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Colonel Pumpenfunkels was able to out-maneuver me, and ran out the window. I immediately chased him outside and into the neighbor's lawn. I frantically grabbed and dove trying to snag him and his $8,000 meal. Finally, I figured I had him cornered at my neighbor's fence, but he clawed his way right up the side and over the top. Unfortunately, Colonel Pumpenfunkels didn't realize that my neighbor Chris was in the process of doing some yardwork, and Colonel Pumpenfunkels fell right into an industrial wood chipper.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was unable to find the ring, and the cat and goldfish were mince meat. I understand you aren't exactly my biggest fan right now, but I just adopted a 7 week old border collie named Horatio. I want to try the same proposal arrangement but this time using the dog. I was wondering if you would be willing to train him.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">-Roger<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>From: Gary</b><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>To: Roger</b><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">STOP E-MAILING ME YOU SICK ****<br />
</div>Roger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-46878165984665270712009-11-25T06:00:00.002-05:002009-11-25T09:14:22.309-05:00Dolphin Adventures<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsoGghrPOE85VVbYqigF4SGLTHVT5De4RDsY-5K4inULp0JwAs-YZ-V8-JJUVQWAAWYnOgOKV-Daf-XM2Qj_rFAUk9j6SQorLBHe94oJ68Jvkl0B2trG4OrStjGKZeHzn9v-NQrTPnj0A/s1600/dolphinsnose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsoGghrPOE85VVbYqigF4SGLTHVT5De4RDsY-5K4inULp0JwAs-YZ-V8-JJUVQWAAWYnOgOKV-Daf-XM2Qj_rFAUk9j6SQorLBHe94oJ68Jvkl0B2trG4OrStjGKZeHzn9v-NQrTPnj0A/s320/dolphinsnose.jpg" /></a><br />
</div><br />
<b>From Roger Podacter to Kimberly</b><br />
<br />
Hi! I saw your motorhome on-line and i am very interested in giving you money so I own it. Are you the original owner?<br />
I really would like to get a deal done sometime this weekend if possible.<br />
-Roger<br />
<br />
<b>From Kimberly to Roger</b><br />
<br />
No I am not the original owner. Would you like to come take a look and check it out?<br />
<br />
Thank you,<br />
Kimberly<br />
321-***-****<br />
<br />
<b><br />
From Roger to Kimberly</b><br />
<br />
Whoa! Hold your horses Kimmy. We may be able to set something up, but I just want to make sure you're serious about selling. What are you looking to get in a trade for the motorhome? Do you enjoy outdoor activites?<br />
Thanks,<br />
Roger<br />
<br />
<b><br />
From Kimberly to Roger</b><br />
<br />
Trust me I'm serious! We have a towing business and its been in our yard for about a year now. What are you looking to trade, I'm pretty open within reason.<br />
321-***-****<br />
<br />
<b>From Roger to Kimberly and Dewayne Neederlander</b><br />
<br />
OK, I understand. Well basically I have a great chip to barter with you if you and your family are into the great outdoors. My brother in-law Dewayne and I have a 23 foot fishing boat and run our own small business called "Dolphin Adventures". We run outta Tampa year-round in the Gulf. All you and your family would need to do is decide when you want us to take you out and we'd provide the rest.<br />
<br />
We run 3 hour, 6 hour, 9 hour and 3 day excursions I would be willing to offer you whatever package you want. We provide a lunch and plenty of adventure. We travel out of Tampa southwest towards whats called "The Dolphin Run". Once there we use whats called an EccoPhone to attract the dolphins. We'll also be throwing some sardines into the waters at this time. A dolphin's favorite treat!<br />
<br />
Once we have about 6 to 10 dolphins near the vessel, we'll drop anchor and Dewayne will bring the dolphins closer by hand feeding them the sardines. Your children will be filled with excitement as real live dolphins swim close enough to touch. We provide guests we a few sardines so that they can get to say that they've fed a real live dolphin.<br />
<br />
At this time I will equip you and each member of your family with a snorkel, diving mask and a 19 inch spear gun. If some in your party are poorer swimmers they can remain on deck, but we ask that they stay alert to others around them. Once caught, Dewayne and I will handle all of the cleaning of the dolphins as well as ensuring they are completely dead. The entire session will be well documented via DVD for your viewing enjoyment years from now.<br />
Upon completion of the adventure we'll return to port and once there you will have the opportunity to purchase a picture package of the excursion or have any impressive catches stuffed and mounted for your living room.<br />
<br />
Normally this package costs around $3000 for a 3 day trip, but I would be willing to offer it to you in exchange for the camper. We've surprisingly had so much success with Dolphin Adventures, that we are now looking to acquire a motor home to use for "Croc-Encounters of the Third Kind". Dewayne's friend has 50 acres in the Everglades we plan to use for guided croc hunts.<br />
<br />
I'll call you once I'm off work to get directions to your house. Where abouts in Kissimmee are you?<br />
<br />
-Roger<br />
<br />
<b>From Kimberly to Roger</b><br />
<br />
A DOLPHIN HUNT?????? NO THANKS. YOU ARE MENTALLY SICK!<br />
<b><br />
From Roger to Kimberly and Dewayne </b><br />
<br />
Kimberly, please copy my brother-in-law Dewayne on all future e-mails. If we're going to get this deal done by this weekend we all need to be on the same page. I'll give you a conference call tonight with Dewayne on so we can hammer out the details and get your address.<br />
Also, I'm trying to get your lunches ready for the trip; do you and your kids prefer tuna sandwiches or lunchables? I think I already know the kids will want lunchables :).<br />
<br />
<b>From Kimberly to Roger and Dewayne</b><br />
<br />
THERE WILL BE NO DEAL. DO NOT CALL ME OR E-MAIL ME OR I WILL GO TO POLICE.<br />
<br />
<b>From Dewayne to Kimberly</b><br />
<br />
Kimberly,<br />
It seems like you are upset. Roger can be pushy, which is why I'm offering you the opportunity to negotiate solely with me. "Croc-Encounters of the Third Kind" is a lot closer to fruition than Roger has led on. I would be willing to take you and your family to my friend Jessup's lands in the Everglades. Just like Dolphin Adventures, each journey will include a lunch, fan boat transportation, a 12-gauge sawed-off shotgun and plenty of croc thrills. I guarantee that you or your children will at least see a croc, and if you don't kill it, I will offer to take you to an area known for Bald Eagle nests. Once there you can pay me $20 to $500 and I will kill it with the weapon of your choosing.<br />
Please let me know if this type of excursion interests you.<br />
-Dewayne<br />
<br />
<b>From Dewayne to Kimberly (sent the next day)</b><br />
<br />
Kim,<br />
I still haven't heard back from you, I'm getting worried. Did you sell the motor home to another buyer?<br />
Since you passed up on Dolphin Adventures and Croc-Encounters of the Third Kind, they must have been offering a Porsche Cayenne full of gold bars.<br />
Let me know,<br />
Dewayne<br />
<br />
<b>From Kimberly to Dewayne</b><br />
<br />
I TOLD YOU TO STOP E-MAILING ME A**HOLE<br />
<br />
<b>From Dewayne to Kimberly and Roger</b><br />
<br />
You said that to Roger.<br />
<br />
<b>From Kimberly to Dewayne</b><br />
<br />
STOP.<br />
<br />
<b>From Dewayne to Kimberly</b><br />
<br />
Sorry.<br />
<br />
<b>From Dewayne to Kimberly</b><br />
<br />
Ooops.Roger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-58750470398045276312009-11-23T06:00:00.003-05:002009-11-23T09:56:27.453-05:00Tennis Racket<b>From Roger to Cynthia</b><br />
<br />
Hello. I saw your tennis racket for sale on Craigslist. My son Darius just turned 6, so its time to begin his training. Do you know the racket's model or how old it is? He's pretty particular about what I get for him and he usually wants nothing but the best. I don't want to upset him.<br />
Thanks,<br />
Roger<br />
<b><br />
From Cynthia to Roger</b><br />
<br />
Hi,<br />
It's a Wilson hammer 25<br />
Tension - 18-23 kj<br />
Length - 63.5 cm<br />
Weight - 235 grams<br />
Head size - 645 cm2<br />
Balance 33.5 cm<br />
Pattern - 16x19<br />
<br />
It's one year old, used once, no scratches and comes with a case.<br />
<br />
Perfect for a junior learner.<br />
Feel free to email for more details,<br />
Cynthia<br />
<br />
<b>From Roger to Cynthia</b><br />
<br />
Cynthia,<br />
Thanks for your quick response and all of the information. I just want to make sure I get Darius the right racket for him to learn with. This summer I tried getting him interested in cricket and he seemed excited, but then he threw a fit because the bat I bought him wasn't the right color. He burned the bat with a bunch of his mates on the sidewalk near our apartment.<br />
I am definitely willing to give you EUR30 for it, but I just don't want to make the same mistake again. Do you have any photos of the racket or a description of the color?<br />
Thanks,<br />
Roger<br />
<b><br />
From Cynthia to Roger</b><br />
<br />
Here’s a photo.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdEQ5ipR7_LLSGkhlVYgv1X8U_ixq0vGw0UozAW9RTiprVPC-1pKFd_cMNB9QLjYw9Q8p8a9-9EMCQ7zA6mnG8X13e979LgUbj06UhahYpf79ZtYXD_m_vgWkteW5K_4bcMbIULfJvqBA/s1600/Capturet1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdEQ5ipR7_LLSGkhlVYgv1X8U_ixq0vGw0UozAW9RTiprVPC-1pKFd_cMNB9QLjYw9Q8p8a9-9EMCQ7zA6mnG8X13e979LgUbj06UhahYpf79ZtYXD_m_vgWkteW5K_4bcMbIULfJvqBA/s320/Capturet1.JPG" /></a><br />
</div><br />
<br />
Good luck!<br />
<b><br />
From Roger to Cynthia and Darius</b><br />
<br />
Darius, Celine was nice enough to send a photo for you. Let me know if it is what you want. You can use some of the money from Uncle Peter to pay for it.<br />
Love,<br />
Dad<br />
<br />
<b>From Darius to Roger and Cynthia</b><br />
<br />
<div style="color: #38761d; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><b>dad it is cool and i want it. why do i have to use my money for it???? can u get it for me?</b><br />
</div><b><br />
From Roger to Darius and Cynthia</b><br />
<br />
Darius, you need to learn about the value of money. You have the money and can pay for it.<br />
<br />
Cynthia, we'll take the racket for EUR30. Would you like me to meet you somewhere?<br />
<br />
Thanks,<br />
Roger<br />
<br />
<b>From Cynthia to Roger</b><br />
<br />
I'm sure he'll love it. Call me and we can arrange. <br />
<b><br />
From Darius to Cynthia</b><br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">hey lady. i hate that my dad is making me spend my money for this racket. i dont want to give you 30 euros for it, because then i can't buy any video games. i will give you 5 euros. </span></b><br />
<br />
<b>From Cynthia to Roger</b><br />
<br />
Your son contacted me, I'm sure without your knowledge, offering 5 euros for the racket. Just thought you would want to know.<br />
<br />
<b>From Roger to Darius and Cynthia</b><br />
<br />
DARIUS! I know you want to save some of your money, but Cynthia is nice enough to offer her racket for 30 euros. We already agreed that you would pay her your 30 euros. I don't want to make you upset, so I'll chip in 10 euros so you only spend 20.<br />
Love, Dad<br />
<br />
<b>From Darius to Roger and Cynthia</b><br />
<br />
<b style="color: #38761d;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">DAD! THIS IS MOSTLY WHY I HATE YOU!!!!!! I AM NOT SPENDING ANY OF MY MONEY! YOU ARE BUYING ME THE RACKET AND PAY Cynthia 40 EUROS!</span></b><br />
<br />
<b>From Roger to Cynthia and Darius</b><br />
<br />
Cynthia, I was afraid this would happen. We have upset Darius and now, I will offer you 50 euros for the racket, but you have to promise to kneel before Darius during the exchange. He is quite upset and I also request that you refer to him as "Darius the Wizard".<br />
<b><br />
From Cynthia to Roger and Darius</b><br />
<br />
Please don't e-mail me again. Either of you.Roger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-80171805588201947682009-11-20T07:00:00.000-05:002009-11-20T08:38:46.345-05:00Carpet Cleaners<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEichS1IAG_fm2V3O61_TGC07VrZXAm7Omb_QmW5Be_RqHNP4OXPHFv7_qtTA9i7JGviLvVoqTeDIStvYukzJdpF28CQEY4RgRvHGiCN_cw2gXZdXzR51cv7rrbFyRvpWrzEjfGdbd3fGqw/s1600/carpet3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEichS1IAG_fm2V3O61_TGC07VrZXAm7Omb_QmW5Be_RqHNP4OXPHFv7_qtTA9i7JGviLvVoqTeDIStvYukzJdpF28CQEY4RgRvHGiCN_cw2gXZdXzR51cv7rrbFyRvpWrzEjfGdbd3fGqw/s320/carpet3.jpg" /></a><br />
</div><br />
<b>From Roger Podacter to Albert</b><br />
<br />
Good afternoon! I just recently purchased an older home in Chavis Heights area of Raleigh. Right now its just my son Darius and I after my recent divorce, but I've been getting closer to finding Darius a mother. I've sent a few messages on Match.com and remain hopeful about my chances. <br />
Anyways, I got quite a deal on an absolutely adorable house, so I have some extra cash I'd like to spend on improvements. One of the major improvements I need to do immediately is clean/replace the carpets. I've been trying to get some estimates and have even had a few companies come to the house, but so far I haven't got any offers.<br />
What are your normal rates? The house is approximately 2,200 sq. ft.<br />
Thanks,<br />
Roger<br />
<br />
<b>From Albert to Roger</b><br />
<br />
Yes I will give you my special. Doing a replace is much more cost effective than a new install. please call me @ 919-***-****<br />
<br />
<b>From Roger to Albert</b><br />
<br />
Albert,<br />
Thanks for your quick response. It is great to hear that you are willing to help my son and I. <br />
The main area of carpet effected is the bedroom and den, but there are also spotty areas in the hallways, my office, a smaller bedroom and the living and dining rooms.<br />
Altogether about 650 sq ft of carpet. Any idea on what the cost of cleaning would be? I just wonder if the damage is so extensive that it makes sense to just replace it. Thanks again soo much, all of the other companies said they are ill equipped or simply refused to handle so much blood.<br />
-Roger<br />
<br />
<b>From Albert to Roger</b><br />
So much blood? I have done biohazard clean-up a few times before. I would be able to do the job today. give me a call 919-***-****<br />
<br />
<b>From Roger to Albert</b><br />
<br />
Albert,<br />
Thanks again for your quick response. Unfortunately, I won't be home today to let you into the house, and I appreciate your enthusiasm. But I feel that you should first come to look at the house and then decide if you wish to help me out or not. I wasn't entirely honest in my previous e-mails.<br />
Well, I was honest, but I did not go into detail on the cause of the my carpet problems.<br />
I got such a good deal on the home, because it was a former front for drug trade and 2 people were murdered at the residence. I'm not talking about cyanide poisoning murder or choking on a ham sandwich murder. We are talking I'm hungry for Bit-O-Honey's, I found a stick and I'm using your head as a pinata murder. They never found the murder weapon, but the word bludgeon was used, and that was all I cared to here. <br />
I always thought that the police or someone involved in the investigation cleaned up these scenes, but apparently not.<br />
I just felt I had to be honest with you,<br />
Roger<br />
<b><br />
From Albert to Roger</b><br />
<br />
Roger It sounds like the house just needs some TLC and the Lord's blessings. It should really be no problem no job too big or too small. If you could let me know when or what time do you need me to come and give you a estimate? I can show the cost advantages of repair over replace.<br />
<br />
<b>From Roger to Albert</b><br />
<br />
Albert, sorry for my delay in response, but I spent nearly 4 hours last night looking over the carpet and debating on whether to simply have it cleaned or just replace it.<br />
Do you have previous experience removing heavy blood stains? I just worry, because the drug dealers bodies were not discovered until after about 12 days. This allowed for heavy pooling. The carpet is quite light and of the shag variety.<br />
I was thinking about just calling a flooring company and having them remove it tonight.<br />
What are your thoughts?<br />
-Roger<br />
P.S. Sorry I'm being so indecisive.<br />
<br />
<b>From Albert to Roger</b><br />
<br />
Roger,<br />
My rates are very reasonable. Your carpet may look bad but I am sure that we can get it looking brand new. Replacing carpet can be costly but its your call. Call me.<br />
<br />
<b>From Roger to Albert</b><br />
<br />
I never should have listened to you Albert! I should have just called the flooring company in Raleigh and had them come out immediately to replace it. Last night I was awoken by the sounds of Darius screaming like a banshee. I darted from my bed and witnessed my own 62 pound son floating over the stairwell. Upon closer inspection I could make out the outline of a large demon holding him by his Dora the Explorer underpants. I immediately reached for my EPV meter to get a reading of the demon's strength, but it was nowhere to be found! In its place was the shell-less body of Mister McGillicuddy, Darius's 6 year old box turtle. He looked terrified.<br />
Without knowing the demon's strength I was forced to remove my clothing and cover my entire body in aluminum foil to shield myself from being penetrated and possesed by the demon. I was able to knock the wind out of the demon with a swift elbow to his groin. Unfortunately, he dropped Darius down the flight of stairs. We immediately evacuated the house and spent last night in a local Holiday Inn.<br />
Because of you my son was nearly killed by a demon, and now that demon owns the deed to our home. I left your phone number on top of the glass case over my beanie baby collection, so hopefully the demon will be contacting you soon. Hopefully your equipment can cleanse your soul.Roger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-62328845623282010422009-11-18T01:00:00.001-05:002009-11-18T08:16:58.563-05:00Pet Sitting Service<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixZLlI8FOx_a1HvHUDwrs713FO-4xDXcFywTO-Asno28QqBo1vCpxBiDgD9J_EyMvqzzPrLRGXWOb8rAgLz_uSaVdiIKfwcdRYciv8WVAwRsz91u83-qjzhRuYiOqKR3dfgrBavdZhxb4/s1600/jazzball_op_800x710bandwidththeft_op_800x710.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5405186402615457234" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixZLlI8FOx_a1HvHUDwrs713FO-4xDXcFywTO-Asno28QqBo1vCpxBiDgD9J_EyMvqzzPrLRGXWOb8rAgLz_uSaVdiIKfwcdRYciv8WVAwRsz91u83-qjzhRuYiOqKR3dfgrBavdZhxb4/s320/jazzball_op_800x710bandwidththeft_op_800x710.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 284px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 320px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: 85%;"><span style="color: black; font-weight: bold;">From Roger Podacter to Katie</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;">Hi,</span> <span style="color: black;">I saw your ad that you offer a pet sitting service and I am definitely interested. I have a ten year border collie named Michael who is as cute as a baby, but as annoying as a baby. </span> <span style="color: black;">Basically, I can rarely get anything done around the house without Michael wanting me to pet him, throw a ball to him or feed him. Don't get me wrong, I love my dog, but he is constantly bugging me.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;">For instance, last night I was trying to watch season 2 of Heroes and Michael is nudging my hand with his snout and begging for food. I could barely watch the show.I am missing out on a lot that life has to offer and I just need a hand.</span> <span style="color: black;"> How much are your rates normally?</span></span><span style="color: #888888; font-family: verdana; font-size: 85%;"><br />
-Roger<br />
<br />
<span style="color: black; font-weight: bold;">From Katie to Roger</span><br />
<br />
</span><br />
<div style="color: black; font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: 85%;">Hi Roger,</span><br />
</div><div style="color: black; font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size: 85%;">Thank you for contacting me. WoW!! You definitely have a furry problem. Do you work outside the house? I'm wondering if Michael is left alone all day while you are out of the house? If so,this is part of his problem you might want to start home visits to keep him company for an hour or two.<br />
<br />
My fee for a home visit is $24.00 for an hour, he would get all the attention he needs. </span><br />
</div><span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: 85%;"><span style="color: black;">How much time do you spend with him a day?</span> <span style="color: black;">Look forward to meeting Michael!</span> <span style="color: black;">Katie</span> <span style="color: black; font-weight: bold;"><br />
<br />
From Roger to Katie</span> <span style="color: black;"><br />
<br />
Katie,</span> <span style="color: black;">$24/hr is kinda pricey. How much would it be for you to come out to the house and pet Michael while I watch Home Improvement and surf the internet? All you would need to do is sit in my living room and pet him while Darren and I watch some TV and maybe order a pizza. Probably from 5pm to Midnight Monday thru Friday.</span> <span style="color: black;"><br />
Thanks,</span> <span style="color: black;">Roger</span> <span style="color: black; font-weight: bold;"><br />
<br />
From Katie to Roger</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;">Roger,</span> <span style="color: black;">WoW! I already have a few clients so I doubt I'd be able to help you out 35 hours a week. Have you thought of doggie day care? There are a lot of great facilities in the area that could care for Michael while you are at work.<br />
<br />
</span><span style="color: black;">I'm really sorry. I would be willing to come to your home during the week a couple days to keep Michael company while you are at work.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black; font-weight: bold;">From Roger to Katie</span> <span style="color: black;"><br />
<br />
Michael is really getting on my nerves today and on Darren's. Darren is my brother-in-law, well not technically, since I'm divorced, but Darren lives with me. He's been out of work since July and lost his license. Usually he watches Michael during the day, but he normally wakes up about an hour before I get home from work, so he's not very useful.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;">I'd really rather not have you come to the house during the day, because Darren is a registered sex offender, even though it was over 10 years ago and he was 18 and she was 15.</span> <span style="color: black;"> $24/hr is kind of expensive for you to come out while I'm at work, but like I said, you can come while I am home. That is when Michael bothers me most.</span></span><span style="font-size: 85%;"><br />
<br />
<br />
</span>Roger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-27778867585311412292009-11-16T01:00:00.005-05:002009-11-16T01:00:02.771-05:00Ramada Inn<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Fny41U6lcJQ/SvxpKBM_VDI/AAAAAAAAAIY/sHlQwPTh1RA/s1600-h/robin_williams_002_080309.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Fny41U6lcJQ/SvxpKBM_VDI/AAAAAAAAAIY/sHlQwPTh1RA/s320/robin_williams_002_080309.jpg" /></a><br />
</div><br />
<b>Roger Podacter<br />
To: The Ramada Inn Providence, Rhode Island</b><br />
<br />
Good afternoon,<br />
I was in Providence earlier this week giving a lecture and demonstration at the Roger Williams Medical Center and I stayed at your hotel. My stay was very pleasant, but I had to leave in a hurry this yesterday morning.<br />
<br />
I got a call from my mother informing me that my wife had gone into labor. I had to cancel my morning appointments for the day and rushed out of the hotel to make the 3 hour drive back to New York. Well, I'm sorry to say but I think I may have left one of my exhibits in the room. It is a human hand. Its an adult white male's and was in a formaldehyde jar. <br />
<br />
You probably think I am kidding around, but I can't for the life of me think of how I wouldn't have noticed it. It may have rolled out of my bag and under the bed or something.<br />
If you could please send someone to the room to retrieve it, I would really appreciate it. I'll be back in Providence next week and could pick it up then.<br />
Thank you,<br />
Dr. Roger Podacter M.D.<br />
<br />
<b>Dewayne Neederlander<br />
To: The Ramada Inn Providence, Rhode Island</b><br />
<br />
I don't know if this is some kind of Halloween joke or something, but I just found a human hand in my room! When I first checked in the room smelled kind of funny and while unpacking my things I noticed a small stain on the carpet under the bed. When I took a closer look I found it was a broken glass jar with a human hand under the bed!! I nearly vomited.<br />
<br />
I didn't really check it to see if it was real or not, I would assume it was fake. I picked it up with a bag and threw it away in the lobby on my way out the door this morning.<br />
<br />
That is a pretty clever prank, probably set-up by one of your maid staff, but I don't know if everyone would find it funny.<br />
<br />
I thought it was quite funny and I'll definitely be staying with you guys again.<br />
Thanks,<br />
Dewayne Neederlander<br />
<br />
<b>Jason (Ramada Inn Service)<br />
To: Dewayne Neederlander<br />
</b><br />
We'd like to further investigate your incident with the room, but we have no record of you staying with us Mr. Neederlander. <br />
What room was this incident in?<br />
<br />
Thank you,<br />
Jason<br />
<br />
<b>Dewayne Neederlander<br />
To: Jason</b><br />
<br />
Thanks for your response Jason. I actually don't recall what room I was staying in, at the time of the incident I was quite inebriated after taking some LSD with my manager and a couple elves. I am positive the room was on the 2nd floor, because I remember climbing a rainbow to reach my bed. <br />
<br />
It makes sense that you don't have a record of a Dewayne Neederlander staying at your hotel, because I always travel under pseudonyms because of my high profile status. My name is Robin Williams. I was in Mrs. Doubtfire and Jack where I played a young boy who aged rapidly. The movie ultimately and expectantly ended with me dying while all my closest friends were just starting with acne and wet dreams.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-19473338505644325672009-11-11T17:00:00.004-05:002009-11-12T09:52:37.563-05:0014FT Box Truck Available for Hauling<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Fny41U6lcJQ/Svsr9wCu2XI/AAAAAAAAAIQ/L4Y5cA94dZw/s1600-h/American+Trucker+Listings+Manager_Straight+Truck_29289-Bergstrom+Neenah+Menasha+Ford_Photo+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Fny41U6lcJQ/Svsr9wCu2XI/AAAAAAAAAIQ/L4Y5cA94dZw/s320/American+Trucker+Listings+Manager_Straight+Truck_29289-Bergstrom+Neenah+Menasha+Ford_Photo+1.jpg" /></a><br />
</div><br />
<b></b><br />
<b>Dewayne Neederlander<br />
To: Byron<br />
</b><br />
Hi, I live about 20 minutes from you, and I'm definitely interested in hiring you to move some things of mine with your box truck. <br />
I'm glad I found your ad because normally I just have to take my chances and burn all of my leftovers every fall to prepare for the <br />
winter season.<br />
<br />
<b>Bryon<br />
To: Dewayne Neederlander</b><br />
<br />
My dad is the one who does it his name is frank and yea we should be able to help you out. <br />
what kind of stuff do you need us to haul?<br />
call me at ***-***-****.<br />
<br />
<b>Dewayne Neederlander<br />
To: Byron</b><br />
<br />
Byron, Thanks for you quick response.<br />
I run a small taxidermy business from my home, and I'd like to hire you to move-out all my "leftovers" from this season. <br />
<br />
This is exactly how it sounds. I have everything; deer legs, dog torsos, horse rib cages, etc. I have been trying to keep most of the items frozen to hide the smell, but my ice box was full in late July, so I've just been storing everything in shopping bags in my frig.<br />
<br />
It should take about an hour to load all the pieces, and I've drained the majority of the blood into some mason jars which we can transport easily.<br />
<br />
We'll just need to find a place to dump all of this stuff, because if we do it too close to a populated area it will attract bears.<br />
<br />
I'm thinking we could find somewhere to do it near Cooks Forest state park. Does the truck have good tires?<br />
<br />
Thanks,<br />
DewayneUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-60064605377994192572009-10-30T05:43:00.002-04:002009-11-11T13:16:20.947-05:00HALLOWEEN SPOOK-TACULAR<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF4H-ctzAl7ICUw7i9MxT0CLGLklleQas0jTaeY9P3lwR9MM0jlW_xW7sHcv1x2Ul2xdcefciP6LWNYJptwCgeAQxmXe4soebuOqjTNmwI65po86KfJmVDQtQgF2T6NLuDJGjM9xauAyc/s1600-h/5455WD.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5398377663467044354" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF4H-ctzAl7ICUw7i9MxT0CLGLklleQas0jTaeY9P3lwR9MM0jlW_xW7sHcv1x2Ul2xdcefciP6LWNYJptwCgeAQxmXe4soebuOqjTNmwI65po86KfJmVDQtQgF2T6NLuDJGjM9xauAyc/s320/5455WD.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 268px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 165px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Roger Podacter</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
To: Chuck E. Cares</span><br />
<br />
Good Afternoon,<br />
I was just curious if it would be possible to hold my son Darius's Halloween party at your Monroeville Chuckie Cheese this coming Saturday.<br />
I see that your web-site accommodates "Birthday" party reservations, but this does not fall under that category. I just need to know if you'd be capable of hosting an event like this.<br />
Thank you,<br />
Roger<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Chuck E. Cares</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
To: Roger Podacter</span><br />
<br />
Dear Guest:<br />
<br />
You are more than welcome to do a Walk In party where the seating is unreserved and on a first come first serve basis and order from the menu. Otherwise, the only parties we hold on the weekends are for Birthdays.<br />
<br />
Thank you for choosing Chuck E. Cheese's and have a MAGICAL day!<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
Cares<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Roger Podacter</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
To: Chuck E. Cares</span><br />
<br />
Thanks for replying to my email so quickly. I am just making sure it would be OK to host Darius and his friends for a Halloween party. He is 7, and so excited about Halloween this year. He's at that age where he wants it to be really scary. Being a single father, I just want to make sure this year is special for him.<br />
Basically here are my ideas for the party, and I just want to make sure Chuckie Cheese is ok with them:<br />
We arrive around 5pm in full costume. I will be dressed as a kitten and ready to purr. First thing we'll feed all the kids some pizza and pop, Darius has invited 60 classmates. After eating I'll let the kids go to town on the games by purchasing $30 worth of tokens for each kid. Mid-way through their playing, I plan on really getting the Halloween spooks going.<br />
I will need the help of the Chuckie Cheese manager on duty, because at 7pm we plan on killing all the lights. A slow thumping kick drum rolls like a train as the children scramble around in the darkness (I will be playing the drum). Thick fog fills the restaurant as one of your employees releases a bag of live bats I have brought into the store (they are all tame). Next my brother-in-law Gerry bursts into the restaurant with his face covered in blood (fake) and his arms wielding a gas-powered chainsaw (real). He quickly saws a few bats in two and performs several chain saw stunts on the Chuckie Cheese band stage. As Gerry is finishing up, my best friend Dewayne Neederlander who is an amateur stunt man, will go streaking through your restaurant fully engulfed in flames.<br />
After this, the lights will come back on and the children will bob for apples in an apple cider barrel near the ball pit. Then I will perform a fake-exorcism on one of the children, give treat bags and send the kids packing with their parents.<br />
I understand that you say Chuckie Cheese is first-come first serve, but I just wanted to make sure you were aware of some of the party activities I had planned. What time does your restaurant close on Saturdays? I planned on really scaring one of the kids by "accidentally" leaving him in the restaurant after closing.<br />
-Roger<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Chuck E. Cares</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
To: Roger Podacter</span><br />
<br />
Dear Guest:<br />
Unfortunately, this is totally unacceptable and you will not be allowed to hold a party in chuckecheese of this nature.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Roger Podacter</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
To: Chuck E. Cares</span><br />
<br />
Cares,<br />
I have to say I am a little disappointed by your response. I was under the impression that Chuckie Cheese had an open-door policy for parties. I am just curious as to why I would not be able to host my son Darius's Halloween party at your Monroeville restaurant?<br />
I am willing to make changes as needed, I am just a single dad trying his best to make his son's Halloween a memorable one.<br />
I look forward to your response.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Chuck E. Cares</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
To: Roger Podacter</span><br />
<br />
Dear Guest:<br />
<br />
You are more than welcome to have your Halloween party for your son. The children are welcome to dress in costume & you can hand out your treat bags. Unfortunately, adults are not able to dress up and there is no outside entertainment allowed.<br />
You would not be able to do any of the scary events as you listed in your previous message. We are open to the public and have to consider everyone. That is why we do not allow outside entertainment. Any party you choose to have would have to be under Chuck E. Cheese guidelines.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Roger Podacter</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">To: Chuck E. Cares</span><br />
<br />
Thank you for your quick response once again. I appreciate the great customer service I have received so far, and I feel we are on our way to ironing out all the details of Darius's halloween party. I understand that you don't want to allow outside entertainment, because you already offer a full stage band with Chuckie and his All-Stars. My brother-in-law Gerry is not an entertainer, he actually is a car salesman/pediatrician. But, I will tell him to leave the chainsaw and costume at home. And obviously Dewayne is an amateur stuntman who is capable of performing stunts at any time, so he is kind of outside entertainment. Does this mean he is not permitted to come at all?<br />
The one thing I don't understand is that you don't allow adults to dress up. Darius is going as a tabby cat and I was going to be his Tabby baby brother. There's no exception you can make? If not, I am willing to simply wear a small hat and leotards and go as Peter Pan. This way if any of your other customers are offended I can easily remove the hat and appear to be in street clothes.<br />
Ok, I think we both agree that the fog machine and chainsaw are unreasonable, but what about the mock exorcism?<br />
Also, would it be possible for one of your employees to kill the lights momentarily so I can screech loudly to create a spooky effect? This wouldn't be for just my party, but I'm sure the other guests would appreciate the scare because of the season.<br />
Thank you.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Chuck E. Cares</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
To: Roger Podacter</span><br />
<br />
Dear Guest:<br />
<br />
In regards to your notation...We apologize for the inconvenience but we are unable to meet your requests. We have a strict policy of no adults in any costumes. Your friend who is an entertainer is permitted in the restaurant, but he is at no time permitted to perform any "stunts".<br />
<br />
If you would like to discuss this matter further please provide us with your telephone number so we may have our legal department contact you.<br />
<br />
Any further e-mails will be forwarded to our legal department for processing and documentation.Roger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-48804632992848619992009-10-29T06:02:00.002-04:002009-10-30T08:34:14.081-04:00Pog Collectors<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWnRrL4fMx3KGNTYCGECalbIlwoNtIeq4SYQnQnczdrCgwbTK6PZuRJUhHLzBzScdi2Jp9dboCQvYZW8B8Va8HJD8YOfa6fN8pX6lZcjsjeUkNoicxhHNPrQqJIH5WiAOaYA9oa1PizSk/s1600-h/3n73k13lf5T75Q15R69acdf91e3779ba81b27.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 225px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWnRrL4fMx3KGNTYCGECalbIlwoNtIeq4SYQnQnczdrCgwbTK6PZuRJUhHLzBzScdi2Jp9dboCQvYZW8B8Va8HJD8YOfa6fN8pX6lZcjsjeUkNoicxhHNPrQqJIH5WiAOaYA9oa1PizSk/s320/3n73k13lf5T75Q15R69acdf91e3779ba81b27.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5397739824630683250" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Wed 4:45pm</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Roger Podacter</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Marc</span><br /><br />Hi, I see you are giving away your pog collection on Craigslist for free. I am an avid collector myself and was quite surprised when I noticed you were giving away your collection which you say includes Disney, Charlie Brown, X-men, Burger King, Power Ranger, Gargoyle, Cookie Crisp, Jurassic Park, a saw blade shaped slammer and various other pogs.<br />I am definitely interested and would be willing to take them off your hands for you.<br />Let me know where you are located so I can pick them up tonight.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Wed 5:02 pm</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />FROM: Dewayne Neederlander</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />TO: Marc</span><br /><br />I saw your pogs on-line. What is the year of the saw blade shaped slammer? Is it older than 1995? I am definitely interested, what is your location?<br />-D-WAY<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Wed 6:14 pm</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Marc (Seller)</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Roger</span><br /><br />hello i had another person email me but u were the first. i am located at **********************. I won't be home tonight, but you could stop over anytime after 5pm tomorrow.<br />call me ***-***-*****<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Wed 6:20pm</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Marc (seller)</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Dewayne</span><br /><br />sorry someone else already emailed me before you about the pogs.<br />thanks<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Wed 6:50pm</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Dewayne</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Marc (seller)</span><br /><br />Marc, I will give you $40 for your collection if the saw blade slammer is older than 1996.<br />-D-WAY<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Wed 7:20pm</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Roger</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Marc (seller)</span><br /><br />Great! That is great news Marc, thanks a lot for helping me out. My son Darius and I have been collecting pogs together since he first got sick when he was 4. His health has had ups and downs the past 6 years, but the our bond with pogs has kept us together.<br />I'll call you after work tomorrow and I can pick them up. I'll also bringing a picture that Darius drew since he won't be able to make it out of the hospital for tomorrow.<br />CYA THEN :)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Wed 8:03pm</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Marc (seller)</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Dewayne</span><br />$40? why do u want to pay $40 for pogs? the slammer says 1995 but i dont get why it matters. are you serious?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Wed 8:10pm</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Dewayne</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Marc (seller)</span><br /><br />I am dead serious. $40. You have until midnight.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Wed 8:30pm</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Marc (seller)</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Roger</span><br /><br />Roger,<br />Its nice to hear about you and your son and I hope he gets better. But I made a mistake and I didn't see that another email came in before yours. And he offered me $40.<br />I'm real sorry, but I think I have to take it to be fair to him.<br />Thanks for understanding.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Wed 8:45pm</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Marc (seller)</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Dewayne</span><br /><br />I'll definitely sell you the collection for $40. i am located at **********************. You can stop over anytime after 5pm tomorrow.<br />call me ***-***-*****<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Wed 10:03pm</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Roger</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Marc (seller)</span><br />$40!? Well, I think if you are accepting cash offers then it shouldn't be first come, first serve. I really enjoy the time I spend with my son. What year is the saw blade shaped slammer?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Thur 9:43am</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Marc (seller)</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Roger</span><br /><br />what is good about the slammer? the label says 1995. i dont know if i could go back on the deal i already accepted. what r u offering? please tell me before around 2.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Thur 10:06am</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />FROM: Roger</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />TO: Marc</span><br /><br />Marc,<br />I am prepared to offer you $500 cash, and yes i didn't accidentally hit the zero key another time. That is five-hundred dollars cash. But we need to to deal by 7pm tonight.<br />Get back to me ASAP.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Thur 10:47am</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />FROM: Marc (seller)</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />TO: Roger</span><br /><br />i have a hard time believing u. why is the slammer so valuable? call me ***-***-****<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Thur 11:23am</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />FROM: Roger</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />TO: Marc (seller)</span><br /><br />Sorry Marc, I'm at work right now and unable to call, but I swear on my son's life that my offer of $500 is legitimate. The particular saw blade slammer you have was never meant to be released. Saw blade slammers were only used up until late 1995 until the UPC (United Pog Commission) outlawed them from tournament play. Let's get this deal done today.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Thur 11:52am</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />(At this point he is probably having trouble containing his excitement)</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />FROM: Marc</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />BCC: Roger and Dewayne</span><br /><br />I bcc'd both of you bidders on this email and i just want for you to send final offers because its too hard to bid on email. the best i got so far has been $500 which I am shocked about.<br />send your best offer before 5.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Thur 1:03pm</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />FROM</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">: Roger</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />TO: Marc (Seller)</span><br /><br />My final offer is $601. Let's make this work for my son Darius.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Thur 2:41pm<br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Dewayne<br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Marc (Seller)</span><br /><br />Whatever the other guy offers, add $300 to my bid. It will be worth your while.<br />-D-WAY<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Thur 4:18pm<br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Marc (Seller)<br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Roger</span><br /><br />Roger i'm sorry but the other bidder was higher. thanks for bidding and i hope your son feels better.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Thur 4:22pm</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />FROM: Marc (Seller)</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />TO: Dewayne</span><br /><br />u had the highest bid. do u still have my address? i will be home all night tonight after 5.<br />call me asap ***-***-****<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Thur 4:28pm</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Alouicious Jeffries</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Marc (Seller)</span><br /><br />We have reason to believe that you've been involved in the sale of illegal slammers over the internet. Our sources have been tracking known offenders and UPF players Dewayne Neederlander and Roger Podacter, and we have reason to believe you've been in contact with them over the past few days.<br />Please terminate all contact with these two individuals, and we also ask that you immediately destroy the slammer. We'll be sending an agent to your house this evening to ensure that the slammer has been destroyed.<br /><br />Thank you and sorry for the alarm,<br />Alouicious Jeffries<br />President<br />United Pog Federation<br />PresidentRoger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-84777288420612216802009-10-28T06:27:00.000-04:002009-10-28T12:13:15.637-04:00Portable Toilet<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjSg1B51T4teLt8ztLm0-DirAsK7gEP8i5W3Sx3cZdtqsID6U9iCJFasZzy0QnvID8i68YDtBztfskp37XjpSlRlpdb9ddVput985vlnS4f3TsPLPwk8oQ0eo_i4yZrOgsZcCeIvupQ-k/s1600-h/3n23oc3le5O25P55Rc9am6a79ef1a57bb1735.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 225px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjSg1B51T4teLt8ztLm0-DirAsK7gEP8i5W3Sx3cZdtqsID6U9iCJFasZzy0QnvID8i68YDtBztfskp37XjpSlRlpdb9ddVput985vlnS4f3TsPLPwk8oQ0eo_i4yZrOgsZcCeIvupQ-k/s320/3n23oc3le5O25P55Rc9am6a79ef1a57bb1735.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5397683343456976434" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Roger</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />TO: Drew</span><br /><br />Hi. I saw your ad for the adult portable toilet. How much are you looking to get for it?<br />I was wondering how strong it is or how much weight it can hold?<br />Also, what is relative capacity of the toilet?<br />I am moving across country to Sacremento and I'm taking my dad with me. I have a large Astro van which we'll most likely be living out of for the next 2 weeks.<br />Thanks,<br />Roger<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Drew</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Roger</span><br /><br />Im asking $25cash. I dont know for sure but it looks to be strong it has a metal adjustable frame to it doesnt look to be cheap made<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Roger</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Drew</span><br /><br />Thanks for the response, I am just apprehensive about purchasing this toilet if it won't be able to handle his 250 pound frame. My father is quite a load and he produces quite a load... The main reason we need this portable toilet is because he suffers from colitis and Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and I don't feel like pulling over every 20 minutes during a cross-country trek. Basically anytime he has a meal or has been sitting for more than 30 minutes his body produces insane amounts of gas which can be quite cumbersome on his colon and the nostrils of those around him.<br />I plan on simply removing my passenger seat and replacing it with your portable toilet. It would be much more comfortable for myself and for my father. The only thing I need to know from you is if I would somehow be able to rig the seat belt up to it. The last thing I would want is for myself to round a bend and hit a deer at 60mph, launching my father and the projections of his colon through the windshield.<br />Basically, I just need to be reassured that this toilet will be able to handle my father.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Roger</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Drew</span><br /><br />Any chance I could possible get the toilet sometime this week? I am moving Friday and I have to pick up my dad on Thursday because I didn't pay for this month's fees at his retirement home.<br />Also, what are you looking to get for the toilet? I could just give you the $25 or we could make a trade?<br />Thanks<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Drew</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Roger</span><br /><br />Asking $25 And you can come get it anytime, Where are you located<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Roger</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Drew</span><br /><br />Thanks for getting back to me so soon. I have no problem paying you $25 to ensure that my van's interior stays dry and white.<br />The only snag is that my brother Carl was going to be helping me load my dad into my van for the trip, and now he can't. Because of a restraining order, he's not allowed within 100 yards of his ex-girlfriend who lives at the old folks home. Yeah, I know its really weird, but he is into older women, but they she dumped him because he hit her in the face with a rake.<br /><br />So basically I need someone to help load my dad into the back of my van. It would only take about 2-3 hours and we'd mostly be wheeling him from his room to the parking lot, then carrying him from his bed into a hammock I rigged up in the back of my van. He's been bed-ridden for about 5 weeks, so we'd just have to be careful lifting him to ensure we don't tear open his bed sores.<br /><br />I live in Castle Shannon, but the old folks home is in Mount Pleasant. I'd be willing to pay you $20 more, so that bumps the total package up to $45. What hours are you normally available? The sooner we can pick him up the better, because they have been calling me non-stop about paying his bill for this month. I am available anytime as I am currently unemployed. Just e-mail me your number soon so I can call you, it'll be easier to set-up times.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />FROM: Drew</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Roger</span><br /><br />Sorry nothing I can do to help<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Roger</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Drew</span><br /><br />I had a feeling you wouldn't be interested at first. Luckily I talked with my dad and worked something out. After my mother died, my father revealed to my brother and me a small shelter beneath the front porch where he hid various valuables, in case mom ever left him from Juan Luis (a young puerto rican neighbor of my parents since 88).<br />I am willing to offer you the $45 as well as an opportunity to select 3 items from my father's hidden items. The items are mostly in great condition from being stored so well. They range from a Playboy collection 1980-84 (missing 81-83) and several reels of family film. One of which contains the birth of my brother or myself, my dad couldn't remember. There are also some fireworks and a case of beer.<br />Obviously these items may not seem valuable to you, so just in case I am willing to offer you $10 more. This bring the total payment for the toilet to $55.<br />I know it may seem like I am giving up a lot just for a stupid toilet, but I really need this thing and a hand loading my dad into the van.<br />Please let me know<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Roger</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Drew</span><br /><br />Sorry I told you I cant I have arthritis<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Roger</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Drew</span><br /><br />Oh, I'm sorry to hear you have arthritis, but I don't see why you can't help me out.<br />Surely you have a friend or someone who could help me, and I need that toilet. My dad has to be out of the home by 3:30pm on Thursday! I am willing to pay you $50 for the toilet, and then $15 to whoever will be helping load my dad.<br />THAT'S $65 FOR A TOILET!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Drew</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Roger</span><br /><br />Listen, I definitely don't want to help "load" your smelly old dad into your van. And I doubt you will find anyone that will for the money you are offering. I like to help people too but I'm not a charity.<br />I will sell you the toilet for $25 and thats it. PLEASE DO NOT E-MAIL ME IF YOU AREN'T INTERESTED IN JUST BUYING IT FOR $25.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Roger</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Drew</span><br /><br />Alright, I think I have worked out the details. My cousin Randall just won a huge settlement after he found a finger in his soup at Eat n' Park. He used some of the money to buy a house in Stuebenville, OH, and he hired a moving company to take all his stuff there. He thinks there will be enough room to fit my dad. This way you would never have to help me move my dad from his home.<br />Unfortunately I'll be helping Randall all week until I leave, so I can't travel too far to meet you. Would you be able to meet me somewhere?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Drew</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Roger</span><br /><br />i'd be willing to meet you anywhere within 25 minutes of Baldwin. when do you have to leave?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Roger</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Drew</span><br /><br />Drew, let's just meet at the **************** Retirement Community in Mount Pleasant at 3:30pm tomorrow. I'll bring the $25 and you should bring the toilet and comfortable sneakers. Maybe a dolly and some lifting straps too, I'm not sure how heavy that toilet is and you might need a hand unloading it.<br />I'll cya then !<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Drew</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Roger</span><br /><br />I am not helping to load your father! Go to hell!!!Roger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-75424620157303400132009-10-26T00:01:00.001-04:002009-10-26T00:03:06.906-04:00Accordions for Sale<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHF3lgkbIjiuStYcI9Cn0zOcmZH1_xb1w-QgqFzJcMnLRccyQvLElga6bHWzsrHvWXZcYhmfG2RIjaNK5g5UB9156KUMn56I4qbXO93tsjoFuvLdGIcRGZ0U-nlV_2lgFuDdqrmfZ-VqM/s1600-h/Accordion_Player_Seville.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 238px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHF3lgkbIjiuStYcI9Cn0zOcmZH1_xb1w-QgqFzJcMnLRccyQvLElga6bHWzsrHvWXZcYhmfG2RIjaNK5g5UB9156KUMn56I4qbXO93tsjoFuvLdGIcRGZ0U-nlV_2lgFuDdqrmfZ-VqM/s320/Accordion_Player_Seville.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5395822926429071154" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Roger Podacter:</span><br /><br />Hi, I saw you're looking to trade your accordions for some guns. I am definitely interested, but are you only looking for guns or do you just want weapons of any kind?<br />Thanks,<br />Roger<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">B:</span><br /><br />I'M PARTAL TO GUNS BUT, I'M OPEN TO ANYTHING, WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Roger Podacter:</span><br /><br />Sorry for my delay in response, I'm currently in prison on DUI charges so my internet access is limited. Some system this is huh?<br /><br />Anyway, I'll be out on the 21st of November and I am definitely interested in your accordions. I'm looking to turn my life around and I think playing the accordion is the way to do it. I don't have any guns (wink). But I have other weapons that I would be willing to trade for the accordions.<br /><br />I spent 6 months in Fallujah during Desert Storm working with the a unit that was basically in charge of explosives and detonations. During that time I became familiar with GBFEL's and NPB's (Ground Based Free Electron Lasers and Neutral Particle Beams). These are basically high energy lasers which are designed to neutralize ballistic missiles. Unfortunately, these units were not very widely used or popular. These babies hog quite a lot of power and that kind of juice was hard to come by in the deserts of Iraq.<br /><br />Anyways, after the war I was able to acquire a NPB through an old college buddy of mine at a relatively low cost. Obviously, you understand that this type of technology is older and partly unstable which makes it extremely dangerous. Since I've had the particle beam I've only used it twice. When I initially acquired it I took it on a quail hunt with my brother-in-law T.J. When I first turned on the unit we pretty much vaporized a 50 yard area within line with the beam. We immediately powered down the unit. The only other time I used it was during a stag party at my old house in Penn Hills. We were shotgunning bottles of Old Grandad, when my uncle Jack passed out and accidentally turned on the device. My friend Darren received third degree burns and had his arm partially sheared off from the particle beam.<br /><br />I think you now understand the danger, but also the enjoyment that this NPB has to offer. Please send me your cell number so we can arrange a time to meet. The best time and place for our deal would be under the cover of darkness and in a heavily rural area.<br /><br />Look forward to playing the accordions,<br />RogerRoger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9169911785979753058.post-62685106772262165272009-10-23T05:49:00.002-04:002009-10-26T15:41:36.919-04:00Job: Stunt Driver Needed<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwt_-X82wOiwxyQceZTcBzhRbp4CAR0hI1tK8ya33Umv72jvc1N_YGIx_nR74RFU_BB420ojcCVhA8kT9J_0QV2CAUY6Ij6r_UQScYVQpnAG9MPPJ8bhhpoKeNaPWbjQN8oWOjISTNKhw/s1600-h/SteveTrugliaFireStunt2005.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 293px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwt_-X82wOiwxyQceZTcBzhRbp4CAR0hI1tK8ya33Umv72jvc1N_YGIx_nR74RFU_BB420ojcCVhA8kT9J_0QV2CAUY6Ij6r_UQScYVQpnAG9MPPJ8bhhpoKeNaPWbjQN8oWOjISTNKhw/s320/SteveTrugliaFireStunt2005.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5395484356824870850" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">October 8<br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Roger Podacter:</span><br /><br />Good Morning,<br />I just wanted to formally apply my son for your stunt driver position posted on Craigslist. I see that you are looking for a "professional" stunt driver. Although my son is not a "professional" stunt driver, he has the experience, technical knowledge and pizazz of a professional. He has been involved in 17 amateur stunt videos (1 of which was featured on America's Funniest Home Videos) and 1 made for TV movie. His main areas of stunt expertise are:<br /> Horse stunts<br /> Bow staff fights<br /> Grenade tricks<br /> Somersaults<br /> Razor scooter jumps<br /> Holding breath for a long time<br /> Etc<br />Please do not hesitate to contact me with questions or if you'd like some references or videos of his work.<br /><br />I look forward to hearing from you,<br />Roger<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">October 9</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Valerie<br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Roger Podacter</span><br /><br />Thank you for your interest. It seems that your son has quite a lot of experience, what we would need for our shoot isn't nearly as dangerous. The stunt involves a barrel roll with a small car.<br />Are you your son's manager? We'd like to deal with him directly if possible.<br />Our rates are set at $42/hr and the work would most likely be over a 2-3 day period.<br />Please have your son submit a resume and references.<br /><br />Thank you,<br />Valerie ***********<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">October 12</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Roger Podacter</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Valerie</span><br /><br />Valerie,<br />Thank you for your prompt response. I see you want to deal with Darius directly, and I can understand that.<br />Sometimes as a father its tough to take off the training wheels. I've informed my son Darius of your interest in his services and he should be contacting you soon.<br />Thank you,<br />Roger<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">October 12</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Darius Podacter</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Valerie</span><br /><br />hey my dad told me u want to have me do a car stunt and i want to do it for sure.<br />-Darius<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">October 13</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">From:Valerie</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">To: Darius</span><br /><br />Please send your resume ASAP. I also need references. We've had a hard time finding qualified canidates, so please provide solid references.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">October 14</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Roger Podacter</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Valerie</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">CC: Darius</span><br /><br />Valerie,<br />Darius told me you e-mailed him two days ago. You never copied me on the e-mail, please do so in all future correspondence.<br />He may be the stuntman, but I'm still his father.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">October 14</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Darius</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Valerie, Roger</span><br /><br />hey i think my dad is mad about ur email to me, hes mad at me too. he wants us to keep his email on the emails too. i can do the car stunt for sure and i think it would be cool if i was on fire while i did the stunt. this is my resume:<br />i can juggle good<br />i can do somesaults<br />i can throw a knife and a sword<br />i am a green belt<br />i can do skateboard tricks<br />i can fake throw-up<br />i can throw-up for real<br /><br />i can do more stunts too. when do u want me to crash the car? i can only do it on the weekends or after school on the week and my bedtime is at 9.<br /><br />-darius<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />October 14</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Roger Podacter</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Valerie</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">CC: Darius</span><br /><br />Valerie,<br />I think my son was confused as to which resume you wanted, he's been busy with school (Master's degree). I will get a resume to you by the end of the day today.<br />Sorry for the inconvience,<br />Roger<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">October 14</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Valerie</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Roger</span><br /><br />I don't think we're interested. Thank you.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">October 16</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Roger Podacter</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Valerie</span><br /><br />Valerie,<br />I don't understand your sudden loss of interest? I was unable to send out Darius's resume the other day because we were practicing stunts and had an accident. We were trying out war movie stunts when Darius accidently ingested some mustard gas and lost control of his dirt bike, crashing it into my amateur chemistry laboratory. I was unable to get to my laptop because a massive chemical fire engulfed our home.<br />Thankfully Darius is going to be fine and can still shoot the car stunt for your film. I've been training Darius as a stuntman since he was 4 years old and now in 2009 he's one of the most gifted 12 year old stuntman in the business.<br />Please let me know your decision,<br />Roger<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">October 19</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Darius Podacter</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Valerie</span><br /><br />hey girl r u going to let me do the car stunt or not? and u never said if u liked my idea for me to be on fire for the stunt.<br />my dad promised me u were going to pay me.<br />-darius<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">October 20</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Valerie</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Roger</span><br /><br />You have your little 12 year old boy perform stunts!? I can't even begin to explain how disgusting you are as a parent.<br />Please do not e-mail me again.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">October 21</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Darius Podacter</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Valerie</span><br /><br />Hey Valerie, its me Darius. I'm not really 12 years old, I'm 18, my dad was just joking around. I hope you are not too upset.<br />I am very interested in helping you out and doing the car stunt. Please contact me soon and we can arrange a meeting time.<br />And I know you may not like my dad, but he will have to be there for the meeting because my motorcycle is in the shop so he will be driving me to the meeting. I'll have my dad fax my birth certificate so you know I'm 18.<br />I do look like I am twelve and talk like I am twelve, but I am definitely not 12. I am 18.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">October 21</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Valerie</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Roger, Darius</span><br /><br />STOP. EMAILING. ME. YOU CHILD ABUSER. I SERIOUSLY HOPE THIS IS A JOKE.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">October 22</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: Roger Podacter</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO: Valerie</span><br /><br />Valerie,<br />I'm not a child abuser, my son is 18. But even if he was 12, wouldn't it be kind of cool? My son being a world class stuntman at 12 years old!? Oh, and I love how you assume its child abuse.<br />Is it child abuse that my son made over $120,000 last year performing stunts??<br />Is it child abuse that he successfully skiied into a tree at 40mph for last year's Vern Troyer project on the life of Sonny Bono??<br />Is it child abuse that at the age of 9 he engulfed himself in flames for the movie "Sunnyville: Sun Colony 2045"?<br />Is it child abuse that he rode an adult siberian tiger for the film adaptation of "Thundercats"?<br />Is it child abuse that he took a cannonball to the chest for a Mead college-ruled paper commercial?<br />NO! It's not.<br />I have been a great father and I'll I'm trying to do is get my son what he deserves.<br />He is honestly 18. We were just having some fun. Where should I send the resume?<br />-RogerRoger Podacterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09657268366207171604noreply@blogger.com1