Roger to Steve
Hi,
I am only responding to your ad for boxing lessons because I want to absolutely destroy Dane Lovejoy. He's my neighbor's 19 year old son who constantly hosts rabid get-togethers in his backyard and keeps my wife and I up all night. I've tried nearly every peaceful resolution I can think of, but our quarrel has reached a level where a ruckus is unavoidable.
You may think that I'm just being an unreasonable 44 year old man, but I am quite sane and I have had enough. This past weekend, my wife was awoken at 3am to find three teenagers defecating in our bird bath and a Kia Soul parked in my front lawn. Normally, I'd called the cops, but I have priors and I'm not on speaking terms with a lot of the boys in blue.
I just want to learn some basic punches and blocking methods.
Thanks for understanding,
Roger P
Steve to Roger
Hi Roger,
We do not train people to go out be the agressors, as a matter of fact, my guys are not aloud to fight outside the gym. You need to call the boys in blue and dont let you priors stop you from doing whats right. Otherwise you will have another prior. You are more than welcome to come down and see what we are about. feel free to call me anytime!!
Steve *********
******* County Fight Club
***-***-****
Roger to Steve
Steve,
Thanks for your response, I appreciate it. I don't think you fully understand the situation. I wouldn't be the aggressor in a confrontation with this kid. I mean he's defecating in my wife's bird bath for Christ's sake. I would wait until I caught him doing it again and then strike.
The training I require would be purely for self-defense. Uppercut methods and melee attacks. I require no training in blocking, because I'm not very concerned about my own safety, I just want to be able to sit on my back porch and listen to Steely Dan without having to witness two teenagers dry-humping on my rhododendrons.
What night could I come down to see if a class is right for me?
Thanks,
Roger
Steve to Roger
Roger,
We are up there every night except for Sunday. 5pm-7pm
Beating someone up for defacating in your bird bath doesnt make it self defense but I understand why you feel like that.
Steve
Roger to Steve
Steve,
I understand that you might disagree with my self defense idea, but its really pretty simple. My wife would be my witness and side with me saying that Dane threw a brick at me.
I'm not too worried about the self defense versus assault side to this story, what I am worried about is having my face turned into mashed potatoes by Dane. He's 19, he is about 6'2 190 and he also has a 2008 Chevy Camaro with these pretty bad ass flames on the side. I mean, I hate to admit it, but this kid is the real deal. Honestly, in your professional opinion what are my chances here?
I'm 5'9 ish about 222, but I am Scotch Irish. Do you think I could train for a week at your club and get in enough body blows to make him stay off my lawn? Or do I need to try another approach?
I've already inquired about bow staff lessons at a Karate center and my friend Carl used to sell drugs and he thinks he could get steroids for me. I just don't know if I wanna take that risk with my health and life because my grapes are already closer to blueberries.
-Roger P
Steve to Roger
You're in your 40's and you are going to beat up a kid who it seems like you are jealous of. You should train to better your health, and getting in fights and using drugs isn't going to do that.
Steve
Roger to Steve (2 weeks later)
Steve! Great news man! Last night Dane was trying to show off for some girl and totaled his Camaro! He's gonna be in the hospital for weeks, maybe even months. He is still alive and breathing, but its gonna be tough for him to party in my lawn with no legs!!!!!
Thanks for everything man! I am gonna go enjoy enjoy a scotch and some UB40 on my porch.
Cheers,
Roger
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