Camper Wheel n' Deal

From Roger Podacter
To Dan

I saw you are looking for an old junk trailer.  I have an old junk trailer you can definitely have.  Its about 14 or 16ft and its been sitting next to my house for about 10 years.  Please come take it, this thing is an eyesore.
I'm located in Hunker, PA.  If you are gonna take it you are going to need help, but I am not going to help.
Let me know if you are interested.
Roger

From Dan
To Roger

Interested-what kind of trailer is it? Camping trailor,pop-up,flat trailor?Can it be towed?If you could send a pic i would know better what i am dealing with.I hate it with all of the questions,but I live in Leechburg,so it would be a little haul to get it home. Any title? Thanks. My cell # is ***-**-****. Dan.

From Roger
To Dan

Its definitely a camping trailer.  Its huge and really gets my blood boiling every morning it sits near my house.  The thing has honestly been there 10 plus years and I've never even seen them use it.
I'll try and get a picture today.

From Dan
To Roger

Is it towable?

From Roger
To Dan

It definitely is and its right in the driveway. But he's got it on concrete blocks right now, and it looks like the back tire is a little flat.

From Dan
To Roger

so it's not yours?

From Roger
To Dan

well its my neighbors.  but the guy is completely lazy. that thing has been sitting there forever!  he probably just hasn't gotten up off his lazy ass to move it.  I rarely see him doing any yardwork or home improvements.  the only time I see him is when he's wife is loading him into their van.
you could probably fix this thing up and it'd be like new.  you just need to make sure you come while his wife is at work or sometime late at night.
honestly, this thing is a black-eye on the neighborhood, and i know a lot of the neighbors would appreciate it.

From Dan
To Roger

I understand,but i don't think i would need any hassle . Thanks.

From Roger
To Dan

Wait Dan, just listen.  If you're worried about getting caught its not really something to worry about.  Ned's wife is the breadwinner and works all the time.  You could easily get the trailer anytime during the day.  Ned is home all day, but even if he spots you it won't matter.  His driveway is stone and he is in a wheelchair.

From Dan
To Roger

Ya, but there is still the phone and the police.Thanks anyway.

From Roger
To Dan

Dan, we just need to work out the details.  I didn't even think of the phone, nice catch.
Here's what we could:
1.  We set-up a pre-arranged time to make the swipe.  You'll need a truck with hitch and at least 2-3 helpers/henchmen.
2.  We meet in my den and dress/hand-out walkie talkies.  All black shirts, pants, gloves, shoes and ski caps.
3.  By this point in our plan I have already installed a zip-line from my bedroom window to his house.  I zip down to his house undetected and scale the roof.  I then cut the phone and power lines to his house.
4.  At this point you and your crew will have about 3 hours to safely remove the trailer before Ned is able to use his arms and mouth to crawl out of the house and shout for help.

A couple things:
 - I will try and do some recon in the next couple days to determine if he owns a cell phone.  This would be a set-back, but not a deal-breaker.  In the event he has a cell phone, we'll just need one more guy to breach the front door with a battering ram, throw 2 flash bang grenades and smash the phone the moment we cut the power and phone lines.
- If at any point we are caught, you cannot mention my name or our association.

Now that we have all the bases covered with a full-proof plan I will call you around 1pm so we can set-up a date.  Also, you should start gathering some men for the team.

From Dan
To Roger

Why not ask them if they would want it gone? You have someone to get rid of it for them. That would be a lot easier than your completely illegal plan.

SENT 2 DAYS LATER

From Roger
To Dan

No need for your help now.  Ned died last night so the trailer will be scraped or sold soon I would imagine.  He was caroling in our neighborhood when his group came to my house.  My driveway is quite steep and his wheelchair couldn't handle it.  He lost control and streaked down my driveway and directly into my wife's Mitsubishi Galant, crushing his skull into the passenger door.
He died on impact.  The car damage was nearly $2,000 and after some haggling his wife is going to pay half.   Let me know if you're still interested in the trailer, and we could develop a new plan.