Friday, May 8, 2009

Waxman's Carpet & Rug Warehouse


Target: Waxman's Carpet & Rug Warehouse
Site: wcrw.com
What they sell: Carpets & Rugs
Date: May 6, 2009
Submitted By: Mumpleton Funk



Gmail Roger Podacter

A Tremendous Experience!
1 message
Roger Podacter Wed, May 6, 2009 at 10:14 AM
To: ******@stratos.net
Good afternoon,
I just wanted to take a brief moment to congratulate your company for helping me have one of the most beautiful den's in Cuyahoga county! I sincerely mean that from the bottom of my heart. About 2 months ago my wife Celine and our son Darius visited your store and were blown away by the selection, quality and price. Within 2 hours we had chosen a carpet for our den, which would be the finishing touch on a great re-model. I chose a very nice dark burgundy carpet and I was feeling good and had just received a raise so I let Celine pick out a beautiful leopard skin print rug to place in front of our fireplace, I'll get to that in a second.
Anyway, the install day came quickly and your install staff was very friendly and respectful of my fragile porcelin doll collection which outline the entire den. After the install was complete we were all so excited and I invited over all of our friends. It was spectacular, all 7 of us were enjoying some chilled shrimp and some cocktails. Unfortunately, I think Darius may have had one too many shrimp or sneaked some of the booze because he began to vomit all over the carpet. Needless to say I was pretty upset, but I was absolutely thrilled when I was able to remove any trace of the stains with simple soap and water.
Later on that night I tucked in young Darius and retired back to the basement. Upon entering the basement I discovered my wife waiting my the warm glow of the fireplace. This brings me back to the leopard skin rug.... To make a 5 minute story short, I also owe some congratulations to your company on account of my wife being pregnant. The baby is due in late December and I couldn't be happier about the carpet we purchased from your business. You can definitely expect our future business, and I was wondering if you could send Celine and I a brochure of other animal skin rugs? I've already started measuring our bedroom for a polar bear!
Thank you so much,
Roger

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Wal-Mart


Target: Wal-Mart
Site: walmart.com
What they sell: Death to Mom & Pop
Date: May 05, 2009
Submitted By: Mumpleton Funk

Good morning,

I just wanted to take a moment to compliment your Latrobe store on a job well done. Last evening, after a hard day at work I picked up my son Darius from daycare and stopped by Wal-mart to do my weekly shopping. Darius is quite a rambunctious child; and being a single father makes it even harder to do my shopping and keep an eye on him. One of your associates noticed this and offered to keep an eye on him while I shopped. At first I thought it was a joke and brushed it off, but Darius was becoming more vocal and insisted. I agreed mostly because I felt there was adequate camera coverage at your store in case the associate tried any funny business.

This decision made my shopping experience extremely enjoyable and gave Darius and I one of the best nights of our lives together. I laughed when I spotted Darius and the associate running full speed through the clothing section with women's underwear on their heads and screaming at the top of their lungs. I smiled when Darius gave me a greeting card that read "Best Dad in the World". The associate helped pick it out. Tears filled my eyes when I watched Darius cruise by the dairy department on a 21-speed mountain bike. Thankfully, I had brought my camera and was able to capture his first moments riding a bicycle. I was extremely proud when I discovered Darius putting the finishing touches on a wedding cake in the bakery department with some help from the associate.

Unfortunately I never got the name of the associate who went above and beyond, but Darius and I will never forget about the fun we had and the enjoyable experience at your store. We will definitely be customers for life, and I'd really appreciate it if you could thank your staff for me. Darius can't stop talking about riding his bike, and I think he has a career as a pastry chef ahead of him. Unfortunately, on our ride home we were rear-ended by a drunk driver who has no insurance, but both Darius and I were fine. Hopefully my insurance will cover the damage.

Wal-Mart Response (Stock)

Dear Customer,

Thank you for your feedback regarding a Walmart Associate. We appreciate
your time and value the fact that you wanted to share your experience with us. Your comments play an important role in recognizing our most promising Associates and rewarding their dedication to helping each of our customers save money and live better. We appreciate your business. If this automated response has not answered your question, please reply to this email and let us know how we can help.

Sincerely,

Your Walmart.com Customer Service Team

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Fan Submission: Clyde's Restaurant




Target:
Clyde's Restaurant
Site: viagra.com
What they sell: Male Sexual Enhancers
Date: April 13, 2009
Submitted By: B.R.

Hi!

I just recently brought my family to your fine establishment, and I have to say that I’ve never, ever had a dining experience as flawless as yours. The food, the staff the atmosphere, everything was beautiful and fantastic and fabulous and unforgettable. I don’t know if your waitress, Shyllandra might remember me, but I had the humungous goiter sticking out of my neck. In fact, I should go on to say that I think your restaurant might have saved my marriage.

For years, my wife and I had been arguing over where to eat dinner. I liked Olive Garden (referred to as “OG”) and she liked Red Lobster (referred to as “RL”). However, those well known establishments don’t hold a candle to your franchise. Everyone here in the trailer park where I reside couldn’t believe that there were places even fancier than the aforementioned eateries; I daresay that I about started a riot at the laundromat when I dutifully declared that “Old Country Buffet is Dead! Long live Clydes!” Clyde’s = RL + OG times ten!

Back to marriage, I couldn’t being to tell you how many times my wife started screaming at me and calling me a worthless chump that could barely manage a gas station whenever I talked about dining at OG. Bad enough that she would take me to her family reunions and then have everyone laugh at me and my physical condition. But that’s okay, because I’d get even with her by throwing fire ants all over her while she slept in our very comfortable Kingsize waterbed that we got from the rent-to-own store down the street. Only paid about $45 week for 18 months, and now we OWN it! The fire ants would bite the hell outta me as well, but you know, it was worth it to see her suffer. I hated her so damn much I could scream sometimes.

Clyde’s however, changed all of that. For the first time in my life, we are both happy. You know what could make that place even better, though? Clowns. Clowns make everything really damn better. I’ve hired them for parties, graduations and funerals and I just can’t tell you how much a memorial service lights up when Happy the Clown busts in with his water lilly joke and crazy clown hair. Thank you Clydes. Thank you for everything.

-------

Dined Recently? Yes
Restaurant: Clyde's of Gallery Place
Experience: Awesome
Food: Awesome
Service: Awesome
Value: Awesome

Clyde's Response:
From: Amy B
Sent: Tuesday, April 14, 2009 10:03 AM
To: Amy B; Bart F; Claude; Ginger; Jeff; JohnG; Maureen H; Michael K; Nancy; Sally D; Shane M; Tom M; Victoria G; Andre J; Angela K; Charles I; David M; Egbert F; Jacques T; Joaquin M; Kenny C; Koli Z; Luke P; maggie n; Paul M; Paul W; Richard H; Santos V; Scott F; Steve H; Teri O; Tim G
Subject: GP: Feedback FLAWLESS EXPERIENCE!!

I think this friend might be “clowning” us. Still counts as a positive comment, though!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paul, please respond.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Paul W
Subject: RE: Feedback FLAWLESS EXPERIENCE!! To: stooge4*****@yahoo.com Date: Wednesday, April 15, 2009, 6:28 AM
Dear Valued Customer,
Thanks for letting us know of your good time here. Reading your letter was a great way to start our day. We appreciate you taking the time to write to us. We look forward to serving you again soon.
Sincerely,
Paul W
General Manager
Clyde's of Gallery Place

Craigslist: Toddler Bed

Gmail Roger Podacter

Re: toddler bed

PatriciaM@aol.com Wed, Apr 29, 2009 at 4:39 PM
To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com
The bed is the same size as a regular crib. It actually uses the same crib mattress as a crib would.
In a message dated 4/29/2009 1:13:34 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, rogerpodacter66@gmail.com writes:

Hi, I saw your toddler bed on Craigslist. About how large is the bed? My son Darius is only 3 but he is already quite large.
Thanks,
Roger


Roger Podacter Thu, Apr 30, 2009 at 8:34 AM
To: PatriciaM@gmail.com
Thank you Patricia. I believe you said the bed was made of wood, do you have any idea of what kind? Because Darius is already sitting at 75 pounds and I want something that is sturdy enough to hold him. He has already shattered 2 previous cribs.

Thanks,
Roger
PatriciaM@aol.com Thu, Apr 30, 2009 at 9:14 AM
To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com
Hi Roger,
I just went to check if the type of wood was printed on the label sticker and noticed that bed had a maximum weight limit of 50 lbs. I think most toddler beds are probably the same. Maybe a regular twin/full bed would work for you little boy and you can get safety rails for it so he won't roll out...that way he won't outgrow it anytime soon. My daughter is 2 and I'm switching her to a regular bed...that's why I'm selling this one.
Patricia :)
Roger Podacter Thu, Apr 30, 2009 at 9:25 AM
To: PatriciaM@aol.com
Patricia,
I appreciate your prompt response and checking on the weight limits for the crib. I agree that I definitely don't want little Darius to out-grow or shatter another crib. I just got off the phone with Ethan Allen furniture and they sell a king size bed carved from a solid stump of a Californian redwood tree that can handle up to 900 lbs. This should give Darius plenty of space and room to grow.
Thanks again for your kindness and knowledge of toddler beds,
Roger
[Quoted text hidden]

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Craigslist: King Bed

King Bed - $680 (Westmoreland City)


Date: 2009-04-30, 7:59AM EDT


King Size - FIRM - Highest quality mattress set with metal bed frame.
(This quality would cost much, much more brand new!)
Near the Irwin Exit, PA Turnpike.


Just pick up and pay directly. Come get it today!


  • Location: Westmoreland City
image 1147212287-0 image 1147212287-1
image 1147212287-2 image 1147212287-3
PostingID: 1147212287



Gmail


























































King Bed
7 messages
Roger Podacter Thu, Apr 30, 2009 at 9:30 AM
To: sale-wghs@craigslist.org
Good morning,
How comfy is that bed?
-Roger

Maria P Thu, Apr 30, 2009 at 10:42 AM
To: Roger Podacter
I love the bed!

It's in amazing shape and is perfectly comfortable and clean.
It's in a smoke free/pet free environment.

I'm sure that you would be very happy with it.


Roger Podacter Thu, Apr 30, 2009 at 10:47 AM
To: Maria P
On a typical ordinal scale how would you rate its comfort?
[Quoted text hidden]

Maria P Thu, Apr 30, 2009 at 11:21 AM
To: Roger Podacter
This is a firm support, Stearns and Fosters Addington mattress top of the line.
This is not a cheap mattress set and it is in my opinion a perfect night's sleep!

Thanks


Roger Podacter Thu, Apr 30, 2009 at 11:24 AM
To: Maria P
Hmm, It definitely sounds like a solid mattress. The only reason I am questioning it so much is because my wife is a little overweight and our previous mattress was destroyed after only 2 months. It definitely looks firm, but I would need to see a picture of the mattress taking on some serious weight. My wife is pushing 350 and I check in at 225. Do you think you'd be able to snap a picture of the mattress taking on upwards of 600 lbs? Maybe if you have a baby grand piano, or a weight bench or several large dogs, you could place them on the mattress to show its strength?
Thanks
Roger
[Quoted text hidden]

Maria P Thu, Apr 30, 2009 at 4:48 PM
To: Roger Podacter
http://www.us-mattress.com/stearns-and-foster-renova-park-firm-king.html

Yes, this Stearns and Foster Renova Park firm mattress would be close to what I have to sell. Stearns and Foster has the strongest coil gage in the industry apparently and has the most durable material on top.

Good Luck



Roger Podacter Fri, May 1, 2009 at 9:24 AM
To: Maria P

Maria, late last night my wife died. We had just finished a meal of corn, biscuits, Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Long John Silver's family treasure chest of 8 chicken planks. We had been trying to cut back on her consumption, but it simply got to be too much. Sometime during the night one of her chins had become lodged in her mouth and her oxygen was cut off enough that she was eventually suffocated and she completed living.
The viewing will be Saturday evening and the funeral is Monday morning. I am only telling you because I feel we have grown very close in the past 2 days, and I just thought you'd like to pay your respects.
Also, I now have no need for the mattress because I only weigh 225 lbs and I would only require a twin.
Thank you for all your help and I look forward to seeing you at the funeral or viewing.
-Roger

Monday, May 4, 2009

Craigslist: Antique Wooden Plane

antique wooden plane - $65 (Pharmacy/St Clair )


Date: 2009-04-28, 9:47AM EDT


Hi I have an antique wooden plane this in very good condition for only $65 .

  • Location: Pharmacy/St Clair
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
image 1143928346-0


PostingID: 1143928346

Gmail Roger Podacter

plane
22 messages
Roger Podacter Tue, Apr 28, 2009 at 10:00 AM
To: sale-jhhmy-1143928346@craigslist.org
Good morning I was wondering who long you've had the plane for?
Thanks,
Roger

Mark Z Tue, Apr 28, 2009 at 10:56 AM
To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com
Hi Roger I'm just wondering why you're asking .

mark z




Date: Tue, 28 Apr 2009 10:00:29 -0400
Subject: plane
From: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com
To: sale-jhhmy-1143928346@craigslist.org

** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY --- AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY
** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
** More Info: http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html


Good morning I was wondering who long you've had the plane for?
Thanks,
Roger


this message was remailed to you via: sale-jhhmy-1143928346@craigslist.org


Tell the whole story with photos, right from your Messenger window. Learn how!

Roger Podacter Tue, Apr 28, 2009 at 10:59 AM
To: Mark
Mark,
I just know that they don't make wooden planes anymore and I was wondering how old yours is. Most today are made of aluminum alloys.
-Roger
[Quoted text hidden]

Mark Tue, Apr 28, 2009 at 12:12 PM
To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com
Hey Roger . When people don't pay their rent on a storage unit they go up for auction . That is how I aquired this . If you wanted I can give you the grandfathers name who used to own this as it's written on the side of the plane . My name is Mark and my number is ****** . Thanks

mark






Roger Podacter Tue, Apr 28, 2009 at 1:00 PM
To: Mark Z
Mark,
So the plane has been in storage for sometime, I just wonder if it would still be in working condition. Without proper service checks and repairs, most planes can easily become unusable. It would really help me out if you have any idea of the amount of flight hours this plane has.
-Roger
[Quoted text hidden]

Mark Z Tue, Apr 28, 2009 at 2:44 PM
To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com
It is in very good condition . It appears to have been restored . It is definetly not unusable .

mark z




Date: Tue, 28 Apr 2009 13:00:45 -0400
[Quoted text hidden]

Messenger has tons of new features that make chatting more fun. Click here to learn more.

Roger Podacter Tue, Apr 28, 2009 at 2:50 PM
To: Mark Z
Z-Man,
Which is it man? You tell me it is in great shape, but then you tell me it has been restored, but then you tell me it is not usable?
The last thing I wanna do is purchase this plane and then have to face the sadness of burying my son when he goes down over the south pacific in the thing.
[Quoted text hidden]

Mark Z Tue, Apr 28, 2009 at 3:04 PM
To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com
What I said is that it is not unusable not not usable . The double negative turns it into a positive . Hopefully your son is not going to fly this to the south pacific . Wood planes generally only fly a few feet . However I guess with the right motor and wings you never know .

mark z




Date: Tue, 28 Apr 2009 14:50:13 -0400
[Quoted text hidden]

Create a cool, new character for your Windows Live™ Messenger. Check it out

Roger Podacter Tue, Apr 28, 2009 at 3:07 PM
To: Mark Z
So this comes without the motor and wings?? Is it just the fuselage? I am a little confused here.
[Quoted text hidden]

Mark Z Tue, Apr 28, 2009 at 3:17 PM
To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com
The fuselage appears to be in great codition . It needs a motor and wings to get off the ground dude . Hopefully your son is small as this baby is about a foot long .

mark z




Date: Tue, 28 Apr 2009 15:07:53 -0400
[Quoted text hidden]

Roger Podacter Tue, Apr 28, 2009 at 3:24 PM
To: Mark Z
Mark,
I think you might be jerking my chain a little here. I have never heard of a foot long plane, so I am pretty sure what you are selling is a model airplane. Can I MAKE A SUGGESTION TO YOU: NEXT TIME LEARN TO BE CLEAR WITH YOUR LISTINGS TO AVOID CONFUSION!
[Quoted text hidden]

Mark Z Tue, Apr 28, 2009 at 3:30 PM
To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com
Dude take a look at the pic as well as the price and you will find that you're the one jerking my chain . That's strange I spelled everything right , I put a pic in , I also put it in the tool section and you have the nerve to tell me I'm jerking your chain . So your suggestion is not going to be used but if I could make a suggestion to you it would be to learn the english language . Understanding is bliss .

mark z




Date: Tue, 28 Apr 2009 15:24:10 -0400
[Quoted text hidden]

Roger Podacter Tue, Apr 28, 2009 at 3:39 PM
To: Mark Z
You've got some nerve buddy. I'm trying to find an air worthy flyer for my son Darius and you are making quips about a hunk of wood. If you want to sell me the plane, then sell me the plane. But I have no interest in your wood planer or whatever it is. I am looking for a plane, and you WERE selling a plane, but it looks like you must have changed the picture now. Nice try man, and I thought you were cool.............for a millisecond.
[Quoted text hidden]

Mark Z Tue, Apr 28, 2009 at 3:45 PM
To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com
I changed the pic wow how do you do that . Listen dude surely you're still trying to play me and i emphasize the word trying . No one has ever been that stupid . Dude wood airplanes went out with Howard Hughes . You're not even funny anymore .

mark z




Date: Tue, 28 Apr 2009 15:39:12 -0400
[Quoted text hidden]

Roger Podacter Tue, Apr 28, 2009 at 3:54 PM
To: Mark Z
The only thing that is on its way out is your craigslist career buddy! You need to wise up and understand how to operate a computer.

Sincerely,
Roger
[Quoted text hidden]

Mark Z Tue, Apr 28, 2009 at 4:17 PM
To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com
You were serious . Dude can you read english . Do you have even the slightest understanding ? Maybe you've had a brain injury or you have alzhiemers or some other mind affecting disease but dude for you to tell me I need help is an understatement . If you go to CAMH they may be able to help you with your problem but you have a serious mental issue . Dude seek help or start back on your medication .

mark z




Date: Tue, 28 Apr 2009 15:54:03 -0400
[Quoted text hidden]

Mark Z Tue, Apr 28, 2009 at 4:29 PM
To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com
Dude this ad was in the tol section . This does not mean that you must be a tool to read the ads . You must have taken it literally .

mark z




Date: Tue, 28 Apr 2009 15:54:03 -0400
[Quoted text hidden]

Windows Live Messenger makes it easier to stay in touch – learn how!

Roger Podacter Wed, Apr 29, 2009 at 9:49 AM
To: Mark Z
I posted a WANT ad on craigslist and it goes like this:

WANTED
A SELLER WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT HE IS SELLING! A SELLER WHO IS SELLING A PLANE AND ACTUALLY KNOWS THAT IT IS A PLANE. THE PLANE IS CAN FLY IN THE SKY AND THE SELLER RECOGNIZES THAT. I ALSO WANT A FIBERGLASS COCK PIT. IF THERE ARE ANY SELLERS THAT ARE LITERATE AND ALSO KNOW HOW TO TAKE A PICTURE OF A PLANE, PLEASE CONTACT ME.
THANK YOU!
[Quoted text hidden]

Mark Z Wed, Apr 29, 2009 at 11:16 AM
To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com
Dude there was a pic attached . I know exactly what a plane is . The question is , what are you doing looking for a plane in the tools section for $65 . I'm looking for buyers not dip shits . Sorry you fit the later and I can't sell the plane to you .

mark z




Date: Wed, 29 Apr 2009 09:49:26 -0400
[Quoted text hidden]

Roger Podacter Wed, Apr 29, 2009 at 11:18 AM
To: Mark Z
Well you better find me a god damn plane sometime between now and the end of the day or there is gonna be a major shitstorm. My son Darius is crying like a banshee.
[Quoted text hidden]

Mark Z Wed, Apr 29, 2009 at 11:25 AM
To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com
Good luck I've found one . It's paper though but it's cheap . With a little flour and water the paper can be stiffened and there is very little chance of little Darius being hurt badly . His arms and legs if they don't have to be amputated will probably heal within a couple of years but it will have saved you tons of money . Let me know when you want to pick this up as it will go quick . There's a big wind coming and it may be gone sooner . Also I hope your not to attached to seeing your son again as it may be hard for him to get back .

mark z




Date: Wed, 29 Apr 2009 11:18:04 -0400
[Quoted text hidden]

Roger Podacter Wed, Apr 29, 2009 at 11:34 AM
To: Mark Z
Ya, you think this is a god damn game!? I will have the last laugh. I hope you have a son currently or I hope that you have a son one day when you are old enough to produce one. I hope you name that son Paddington. And I hope Paddington does well in school and sports and gets signed to a baseball contract straight out of high school for the Florida Marlins. But then I hope during Paddington's first game you are sitting and watching him pitch and all of the sudden he throws a pitch and the batter crushes it out of the stadium. On the very next pitch you are struck by lightning and 500,000 volts of pure karma flow through your body until your life is extinguished. This all could have been avoided had you learned to type and assemble sentences and photographs for a craigslist posting.
[Quoted text hidden]


Friday, May 1, 2009

Scam Mail Pen Pal: Salone & Rose Kemoh

Gmail Roger Podacter

FROM SALONE AND ROSE KEMOH.
6 messages
salonekemoh@cantv.net Mon, Apr 20, 2009 at 9:22 AM
Reply-To: salonekemoh@cantv.net
To: salonekemoh@cantv.net
FROM SALONE AND ROSE KEMOH.
Av 16 Reu 87 ABIDJAN
KORIET CAMP ANGRE.
REPUBLIC OF COTE-D'IVOIRE
00225 07 40 87 51.
Dearest
I am Salone Kemoh the only son of late Mr. Gilbert Kemoh from Sierra Leone.

I got your contact from the ECOWAS Infomation Center in Cote d'Ivoire. My source of your contact gave me the courage and confidence to rely on you. I am writting you in absolute confidence primarily to seek your assistance to transfer the amount of (EIGHT MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS)($ 8,500,000,00 US )now in the custody of a BANK here in Abidjan to your private account .
SOURCE OF THE MONEY; My late father, Mr. Gilbert Kemoh a native of mende district of Sierra Leone, was the general Manager of Sierra Leone Diamond minning corporation (S.L.D.M.C.)Freetown.
According to my mother, This money was the income that accrued from minning corporation's over draft and minor sales.
Before the peak of the civil war between the rebels forces of major Paul Koroma and the combined forces of ECOMOG peace keeping operation that almost destroyed my country, following the forceful removal from power of the Civilian Elected President Ahmed Tejan Kabbah by the rebels. My father had already made arrangement for his family; my sister Rose and myself to be evacuated to Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire.
I am constrained to contact you because of the maltreatment which I am receiving from my step mother. She planned to take away all my late father's treasury and properties from me since the unexpected death of my beloved Father. Meanwhile I wanted to travel to Europe, but she hide away my international passport and other valuable documents. Luckily she did not discover where I kept my father's File which contained important documents. Now we are presently staying in the Mission in Burkina Faso. We are seeking for long term relationship and investment assistance. My father of blessed memory deposited the sum of US$10.5 Million in one bank in Burkina Faso with my name as the next of kin. I had contacted the Bank to clear the deposit but the Branch Manager told me that being a refugee, my status according to the local law does not authorize me to carry out the operation. However, he advised me to provide a trustee who will stand on my behalf. I had wanted to inform my stepmother about this deposit but I am afraid that she will not offer me anything after the release of the money.
Therefore, I decide to seek for your help in transferring the money into your bank account while I will relocate to your country and settle down with you. As you indicated your interest to help me I will give you the account number and the contact of the bank where my late beloved father deposited the money with my name as the next of kin. It is my intention to compensate you with 20% of the total money for your assistance and the balance shall be my investment in any profitable venture which you will recommend to me as have no any idea about foreign investment. Please all communications should be through this email address only for confidential purposes.
Thanking you a lot in anticipation of your quick response. I will send you details in my next email for you to know me well.
I humbly solicit your assistance in the followings ways;
To assist me claim this fund from the BANK as a co-beneficiary.;
To transfer this money in your name to your country;
To make a good arrangement for a joint business investment on our behalf in your country with you as the caretaker.
To secure a college for my little Sister and my self in your country to further our education.And to make arrangement for our travel to your country after you have transferred this fund. most importantly,The whole documents issued after deposit is in my custody.
For your assistance, I beg to concede 15% of this money to you while 5% will be set aside for ancillary expenses that may arise in the course of the transaction.
I EAGERLY AWAITS YOUR REPLY.
BEST REGARD
SALONE AND ROSE.

Roger Podacter Tue, Apr 21, 2009 at 1:21 PM
To: salonekemoh@cantv.net
Salone,

I am completely shocked by your situation, and it sounds terrible. Lord only knows the horrors you are going through right now. Thankfully you have found shelter in a mission. I would definitely like to help you and assist you through this ordeal. Actually, I think that we would both would benefit greatly, because currently I am a refugee as well and staying at a mission in Burkina Faso AS WELL! It might be the same one you are at! Is that you always making the moaning sounds at night?? We should definitely be able to help each other get some money.

Actually, what is kind of funny is that I am the son of the King of Scotland, and last month my father was killed in a motor boating accident. You see, my mother has quite large bosoms and he was not wearing his neck brace at the time. He died en-route to the hospital. I fled the country, because my mother was arrested for murder and I knew for sure that my evil Uncle Alvin would try to have me thrown into prison with her.

I have almost $15 million USD tied up in my father's bank account that I need help to retrieve. I will promise you 30% if you assist me, and then I'll take 20% of yours for me helping you.

Stay Strong! Your Friend,

Roger

P.S. Are you writing these e-mails from the mission? I don't have internet or a laptop in my room, please tell me who hooked you up. Was it Mother Nina? I am currently at the Internet cafe down the street.

Good luck!
[Quoted text hidden]

salonekemoh@cantv.net Wed, Apr 22, 2009 at 5:32 AM
Reply-To: salonekemoh@cantv.net
To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com
Dear Sir,

Compliments of the season and many many thanks for your response to our proposal. I and my sister were too happy about your response to our message.We pray that God will give you the heart to assist us.

We have to bring to your notice that we don't have any bad intentions coming to you for an assistance ,all we needed from you is not only the money to be transferred into your bank account but for you to be our guidian and start directing our affiars from hence fort.So, please all we needed from you is total co-peration so that we will get this money transferrred immediately to your provided account without any delay.

No condition is permanent says a proverb,because of our life, someone will tell us that oneday that we will be looking for help of any kind we will not beleive the person,because when our father was alive everything is very complete for us,but now things has fall apart as the center cannot hold again,we have deceided to reply this mail and beleive that we will be understood and not be betrayed and disappointed.
After the transferring money into your bank account,I and my sister will be here waiting for you to send us some money from it so that we will be getting prepared to come over there in your country for a new life.While i will join any business of your choice with your directives as our guidian and my sister to continue her Education. I hope that this message will meet you well as we have written to you with all our heart and beleiving that you will not let us down.I am 19 years old while my Sister Rose is 16.

We have all the necessary documents with us here which our late father use to deposited the money and we are ready to provide to you them on request.
Finally dear, Please permit us to know more about you. How old are you? What type of religion do you practice?What do you do for a living?please explain to us more about your personal data.

We look forward to hearing from you.
Thanks and remain bless.
Yours sincerely.
Salone and Rose.
[Quoted text hidden]

Roger Podacter Wed, Apr 22, 2009 at 11:44 AM
To: salonekemoh@cantv.net
Salone and Rose,

I am typing this email from my Apple iPhone while on the toilet, because I just got back from Taco Bell and I have extremely irritable bowels, I hope you don't mind. I had to immediately respond because your situation is a sad one, and I know I can help. I will do all that I can.

I am 42 years old, I am a practicing Catholic and I am Custodial Engineer/Veterinarian.

Please let me know what else I can do to assist you.

Sincerely,
Roger
[Quoted text hidden]

salonekemoh@cantv.net Wed, Apr 22, 2009 at 12:51 PM
Reply-To: salonekemoh@cantv.net
To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com

Dear Sir,
We received your message and we thank you very much for your prompt response.

I and my sister decided to search for help the way we did because we did not want to fall into wrong hands.
Because of that we prayed to God to send us a good Person who will not betray us after the money have been transfered .Because this money left by our late father is our only hope of survival in this world now. As of now I and my sister are staying at the assylum camp in abidjan here and we are suffering a lot .

So Sir, we shall like this transaction to be completed in time so that we can come over to your country for a new life and continue our education while you will invest the money into some profitable ventures.

Once again,I am 19 years old while my sister Rose is 16.So as you can see I am too young to manage this money and after the death of our parents we don't have anybody to care for us again. So because of that reason we shall like you to;

1). promise me that you will take me and my sister as your own and that you will never betray us.

2). Work torwards our coming to your country to continue our education after the money have been transfered into your account.

3). To serve as a guardian to the money by ensuring that it is invested wisely.

It is so that this transaction could be completed as soon as possible.
We shall be sending to you our international passports and most of the documents that backs this fund to enable you to know more about us as soon as possible.

We are waiting earnestly for your positive reply.And please we will like you to call us on this telephone number so you can hear our voice. +22507408751.

Thanks and may God bless you.
Yours Sincerely,
Salone and Rose.


Roger Podacter Wed, Apr 22, 2009 at 1:17 PM
To: salonekemoh@cantv.net
Salone and Rose,
It soothes my ear to hear that you are safe and your return is so close. I actually have my own personal watercraft that I could pick both of you up on. It is a Sea-doo jetski and can travel up to 35 knots.

In response to your questions:

1 . Pinky swear
2. No doubt
3. I am not very strong, but my friend Brian works out twice a week and I always call him when I need to move my entertainment center during spring cleaning.

Unfortunately, I will be unable to call you this week, because my son was attempting to fix the telephone line on our street and was struck by lightning. He has been in the hospital since last Wednesday and we currently have no phone service.
If you could send me a picture of yourself and Rose wearing bikinis and eating salami sticks I would be forever grateful.

Your friend, protector, hero and future father,
Roger
[Quoted text hidden]