Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Dolphin Adventures

From Roger Podacter to Kimberly

Hi! I saw your motorhome on-line and i am very interested in giving you money so I own it.  Are you the original owner?
I really would like to get a deal done sometime this weekend if possible.

From Kimberly to Roger

No I am not the original owner. Would you like to come take a look and check it out?

Thank you,

From Roger to Kimberly

Whoa! Hold your horses Kimmy.  We may be able to set something up, but I just want to make sure you're serious about selling.  What are you looking to get in a trade for the motorhome?  Do you enjoy outdoor activites?

From Kimberly to Roger

Trust me I'm serious! We have a towing business and its been in our yard for about a year now. What are you looking to trade, I'm pretty open within reason.

From Roger to Kimberly and Dewayne Neederlander

OK, I understand. Well basically I have a great chip to barter with you if you and your family are into the great outdoors.  My brother in-law Dewayne and I have a 23 foot fishing boat and run our own small business called "Dolphin Adventures".  We run outta Tampa year-round in the Gulf.  All you and your family would need to do is decide when you want us to take you out and we'd provide the rest.

We run 3 hour, 6 hour, 9 hour and 3 day excursions  I would be willing to offer you whatever package you want.  We provide a lunch and plenty of adventure.  We travel out of Tampa southwest towards whats called "The Dolphin Run".  Once there we use whats called an EccoPhone to attract the dolphins.  We'll also be throwing some sardines into the waters at this time. A dolphin's favorite treat!

Once we have about 6 to 10 dolphins near the vessel, we'll drop anchor and Dewayne will bring the dolphins closer by hand feeding them the sardines.  Your children will be filled with excitement as real live dolphins swim close enough to touch.  We provide guests we a few sardines so that they can get to say that they've fed a real live dolphin.

At this time I will equip you and each member of your family with a snorkel, diving mask and a 19 inch spear gun.  If some in your party are poorer swimmers they can remain on deck, but we ask that they stay alert to others around them.  Once caught, Dewayne and I will handle all of the cleaning of the dolphins as well as ensuring they are completely dead.  The entire session will be well documented via DVD for your viewing enjoyment years from now.
Upon completion of the adventure we'll return to port and once there you will have the opportunity to purchase a picture package of the excursion or have any impressive catches stuffed and mounted for your living room.

Normally this package costs around $3000 for a 3 day trip, but I would be willing to offer it to you in exchange for the camper.  We've surprisingly had so much success with Dolphin Adventures, that we are now looking to acquire a motor home to use for "Croc-Encounters of the Third Kind".  Dewayne's friend has 50 acres in the Everglades we plan to use for guided croc hunts.

I'll call you once I'm off work to get directions to your house.  Where abouts in Kissimmee are you?


From Kimberly to Roger


From Roger to Kimberly and Dewayne

Kimberly, please copy my brother-in-law Dewayne on all future e-mails.  If we're going to get this deal done by this weekend we all need to be on the same page.  I'll give you a conference call tonight with Dewayne on so we can hammer out the details and get your address.
Also, I'm trying to get your lunches ready for the trip; do you and your kids prefer tuna sandwiches or lunchables?  I think I already know the kids will want lunchables :).

From Kimberly to Roger and Dewayne


From Dewayne to Kimberly

It seems like you are upset.  Roger can be pushy, which is why I'm offering you the opportunity to negotiate solely with me.  "Croc-Encounters of the Third Kind" is a lot closer to fruition than Roger has led on.  I would be willing to take you and your family to my friend Jessup's lands in the Everglades.  Just like Dolphin Adventures, each journey will include a lunch, fan boat transportation, a 12-gauge sawed-off shotgun and plenty of croc thrills.  I guarantee that you or your children will at least see a croc, and if you don't kill it, I will offer to take you to an area known for Bald Eagle nests.  Once there you can pay me $20 to $500 and I will kill it with the weapon of your choosing.
Please let me know if this type of excursion interests you.

From Dewayne to Kimberly (sent the next day)

I still haven't heard back from you, I'm getting worried.  Did you sell the motor home to another buyer?
Since you passed up on Dolphin Adventures and Croc-Encounters of the Third Kind, they must have been offering a Porsche Cayenne full of gold bars.
Let me know,

From Kimberly to Dewayne


From Dewayne to Kimberly and Roger

You said that to Roger.

From Kimberly to Dewayne


From Dewayne to Kimberly


From Dewayne to Kimberly


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