Monday, June 22, 2009

Craigslist: 1987 BMW 325i

Date: 2009-06-20, 11:52PM EDT

1987 BMW 325i four door, daily driver good on gas , new tires, brakes, and half shafts......inspected till Sept 2009, looking to trade for backhoe, trackloader


Roger Podacter Mon, Jun 22, 2009 at 2:52 PM
To: sale************
Good afternoon,
I see that you are looking to trade your BMW for a backhoe or something of equal value. Unfortunately, I don't have a backhoe. I would think the car's current value is around $2,500. Being that its so valuable I am willing to offer you a fair trade where we can help each other out.
This is what I am proposing:
1. You open up your house to my son, myself and 50 of our closest friends.
2. You provide a meal (chicken or beef) and alcohol for every guest in attendance.
3. You construct a small stage in your yard/deck/basement.
Once these 3 steps have been completed you can rest easy because your work is done. For the next 5 hours my son and I will entertain you and our guests with an evening of Magic and Comedy.
Possible tricks/stunts include:
1. Card Tricks
2. Mind Reading
3. My son holding his breath for 3 hours
4. Sawing a full-grown man in half
5. Jumping a monster truck over your house.
6. Escaping a box engulfed in flames inside of a house engulfed in flames (we WILL provide the box)
At the conclusion of the evening we will waive our standard fee of $2,500 and simply accept your BMW 352i as payment.

We are willing to negoitate depending on what tricks are your favorite or if you'd rather provide vegetarian meals.

Look forward to seeing the car,

C********* Mon, Jun 22, 2009 at 3:01 PM
To: Roger Podacter
Clearly you are a moron.

Roger Podacter Mon, Jun 22, 2009 at 3:32 PM
To: C**************
Clearly, you have no idea when an offer of a lifetime smacks you right in the face. Your car looks like it is going to implode any minute, on the other hand, my son's magic career is ready to explode. If you really aren't satisfied with that offer, I am willing to increase our performance time to 6 hours, but this would require you to provide a dessert for each guest.
Let me know.

C********* <********> Mon, Jun 22, 2009 at 8:52 PM
To: Roger Podacter
get the f*** out of here you crackhead.....

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