Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Seeking Actor and Actress (Pittsburgh, PA)

We are seeking an actor and actress for a commercial that would possibly be aired nation wide.

- Female 20-24
- Male 21-25

Good if you have prior experience or even if you are looking for your first gig to break in to the entertainment world.

Please email me your head shots, and experiences.

If all goes well, could lead to other jobs.

  • Location: Pittsburgh, PA
  • Compensation: will be discussed
Roger Podacter Tue, Jun 23, 2009
To: job-********@craigslist.org
Good morning,
I recently stumbled upon your Craigslist ad and see you are looking for an actor to make your production a success. Well your search is over!

Hello, My name is Roger Podacter.

My experience in the world of theater is unparalleled.

Here are some of my previous roles:
- During middle school I acted in our school's production of Castaway, I starred as the pilot on the airplane that crashed.
- Grease (Stage Crew)
- West Side Story (Puerto Rican kid)
- Weekend at Bernie's (Bernie) (This was in elementry school and has been my largest role to date)
- The Jungle Book (Tree/Bush)
- Oklahoma (Tumble weed)
- Transformers (Lead-Role) (I was selected for the lead male role, but had to decline because of a DUI which prohibited me from any stunt driving, it was ultimately given to Shia LaBeouf

My acting skills are not just limited to the stage though. I am also a student of improv acting, and last summer I successfully pulled over a school bus while pretending to be a cop.

Other Incredible Skills:
- I am an accomplished kazooist and have played the harp since I was 11 months old.
- A Triple Threat, I also possess talents in magic and have been a practicing magician since 2002.
- Most of my shows are impromptu where I will simply show up at a mall, car dealership or funeral home and wow the spectators.
- My most dazzling feats include escaping a pool filled with gasoline engulfed in flames and correctly guessing an audience member's cholesterol. (I have yet to perform the pool stunt)
- I can drive a car fast, and I am a pretty good drunk driver. (1 career DUI)

My polaroid camera is currently broken, so I am unable to include headshots, but I will describe myself as others commonly do.
- My face looks like the spawn of a child between Marlon Brando and Tila Tequila.
- The ability to grow a full beard in 7 hours.
- I once played a baby for a 7am shoot for Look Whose Talking 2, and then played Abraham Lincoln at 4pm the same day.

Ok, now to talk about my fees. My fees are simple, I require $40/hr plus meals. I will also need a dressing room with a California king bed, a large leather couch, 50 boquets of flowers, 3 miniuature schnauzers and a small boy for my son Darius to play with. I usually require a ferris wheel to be on-site for all productions, but I am willing to negotiate.

I look forward to being you star,

1 comment:

  1. Awesome! You forgot your DJing on the resume, though.