Monday, June 22, 2009

Craigslist: Person Needed to Wear Mascot Costume (Pittsburgh Zoo)

Date: 2009-06-19, 10:43AM EDT

Fun, energetic person needed to represent the Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium at events throughout the community. Qualified applicants must be able to wear a mascot costumer and interact with crowds at several different types of venues. Must be at least 18 years of age, have a valid PA drivers license, and be able drive to events within a 100-mile radius.

  • Location: Pittsburgh Zoo
  • Compensation: $8 per hour plus mileage reimbursement

Roger Podacter Mon, Jun 22, 2009 at 1:50 PM
To: job*************
Good Afternoon,

My name is Roger Podacter and I recently came across your job posting for the mascot position at the Pittsburgh Zoo. I recently left my previous employer to pursue more interesting endeavors.
My previous work experience was at Lockheed Martin in Fort Worth, TX and at UPMC Pittsburgh right here in town. During my 33 years of employment at Lockheed Martin I was mainly involved in our defense division where I designed surface-to-air missile defense systems which were sold to the U.S. Armed Forces. The nature of my work exposed me to SolidWorks, Auto CAD, ProE and CATIA systems. I feel this area of experience will greatly benefit myself if I were employed as a mascot at your Pittsburgh Zoo. I would easily be able to make custom modifications to the costume which would enable me to propel myself through crowds using a small rocket pack or boosters. Also, depending on the width of the costumes sleeves I may be able to rig up some custom flamethrowers to dazzle the crowds.

Since I was a young boy I've always had an interest in lions and it would really be a dream of mine to pretend to be one and get paid. I have produced four sample DVDs of myself in full lion costume performing various tricks. I am also a bit of an amateur magician/wizard, and my experience as a wizard has given me the following skills:
- Ballon animals
- Card Tricks
- Simple mind reading
- Weight guessing
- Age guessing
- Virginity guessing
- Hiding stuff under cups and moving them rapidly
- Pogo tricks
- Casting spells
- Simple sorcery
- Fire breathing
- I am also a certified orange belt in the event of a customer uprising or terroristic attack

I also have a strong bond and love for animals. Once I am hired I would have no reservations what so ever about bringing in my 16 foot Burmese python named Tom Hanks Jr. He is very tame and loves children. I also have 3 dogs, 2 cats and usually around 20 hamsters depending on Tom Hanks Jr's feeding schedule.

Despite my age, I think you see that I am more than qualified to meet the demands of your mascot position. My interest level in the position is extremely high, and I am sure that yours has peaked as well. Please contact me via e-mail so we can set-up the starting time for my first day and talk about how much I'm going to be paid. All e-mails are forwarded directly to my beeper so I will contact you once you have decided to hire me.

I look forward to working with you,
Roger Podacter


  1. Beautiful. Classic! I'm SOOO glad you're posting again!

  2. ditto here. these are great. just waiting for darius to get back in the act also..hahah