Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Free Mattress Give-Away

Craigslist: Would like the queen bed and box spring posted!

Date: 2009-06-23

To whoever posted the queen bed and box spring in n***** h*******. I tried replying and it would not go through. I am very interested in this bed and could pick it up anytime. Please contact me back if it is still available and with directions.

Even though I definitely did not post the queen bed and box spring I couldn't resist pretending to be that generous...

From Roger Podacter to sale****************

Hi, I see you are interested in my queen bed and box spring. I would be more than happy to give it to you for free, but I just need a few questions answered:

What do you plan on using the bed and box spring for?
Do you have pets?
What will you be doing with your current bed?

From Brittany ********* to Roger Podacter

Well I would be using it for my bed because I have a full now and have been looking for a queen. I will be using my full mattress for our guest bedroom. I do not have any pets. Thank you for getting back to me please give me directions and I could pick it up whenever you want.

From Roger Podacter to Brittany *********

Woah, Brittany lets not get ahead of ourselves here. I don't know if you are deserving of this bed or not. First of all, this bed has an extremely close bond to my heart because it is where my wife and I created our son Darius. He is a joy and we love how he has shown a knack for the family business. He's one of the brightest young amateur magicians I've ever taught.
I will definitely miss this bed and box spring, and you are going to have to be OK with me coming over on occassion a few times a year to check up on it and see that you are taking proper care of it. It relieves me some to hear that you are still keeping your old mattress. If possible I'd like for you to send a digital photo of your current mattress so I get an idea of what to expect for my mattress.
Also once Darius was born we never again made love in the bed, and I would expect the same from you. So you might want to keep the twin in your bedroom.
Can you agree 100% to these conditions?

From Brittany ********** to Roger Podacter

You are a wack job forget it.

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