Friday, June 19, 2009

Craigslist: CURB ALERT----FREE COUCH (C******)



Date: 2009-06-18, 10:11PM EDT


I have a dark maroon couch sitting in my front yard. The two ends are recliners and the center piece does flip down to a table. The couch is about 5 yrs old with wear and tear from kids. The down side to the free part is I had a dog pee on the couch and I do not know how to clean it. So if you want it come and take it no questions asked. I did break it down into pieces so it is easy to go and I do have all the hardware. You load and hual. Address is ** ****** Rd. Pgh PA 15205
COUCH ONLY NOT LOVE SEAT






Re: Couch
6 messages

Hi I am interested in your couch, but I am just wondering what kind of dog urinated on it? Also, you say the couch has been sitting in your front yard. How long has it been sitting there?
Thanks,
Roger


***************@aol.com <***************@aol.com>

Fri, Jun 19, 2009 at 9:57 AM

To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com

Sorry some one took it over night, Thanks N*****


Roger Podacter

Fri, Jun 19, 2009 at 9:59 AM

To: ***************@aol.com

Who took it?


***************@aol.com <***************@aol.com>

Fri, Jun 19, 2009 at 10:00 AM

To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com

Not sure it was gone when I woke up this morning


Roger Podacter

Fri, Jun 19, 2009 at 10:05 AM

To: ***************@aol.com

Just so you know, I was the one who took the couch. For YOUR own safety. I am not sure if you're aware just how lucky you are to be alive right now. That couch was soaked in urine; and leaving it outside without a sniper present was the dumbest thing you could do. Bears are attracted to the scent of urine and can smell one drop of urine from almost 5 miles.

When I read the Craigslist ad last night at 3am I immediately drove to your house and picked it up. I took it to a remote location in the Allegheny Forest and set it ablaze so no one would be killed. I cannot believe that you are breathing right now. Next time be more careful.


***************@aol.com <***************@aol.com>

Fri, Jun 19, 2009 at 10:09 AM

To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com

GO SEE A F***ING SHRINK YOU NEED SOME MAJOR HELP!!!!!!


Roger Podacter

Fri, Jun 19, 2009 at 10:11 AM

To: ***************@aol.com

A simple THANK YOU would have been nice. A bear may have followed the scent to the area, so you're not out of the woods yet honey.

***************@aol.com <***************@aol.com>

Fri, Jun 19, 2009 at 10:15 AM

To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com

YOU F***IN A**HOLE, I HELPED THE GUY LOAD THEM THIS MORNING, THIS IS THE HUSBAND, IF YOU CARE TO MEET AND SETTLE THIS LIKE MEN. ANOTHER WAYS LEAVE MY F***ING WIFE ALONE.


Roger Podacter

Fri, Jun 19, 2009 at 10:20 AM

To: ***************@aol.com

I appreciated your help and I thanked you for it, but I still think you owe me at least a simple thank you for saving your lives from bears. Also, I think you know owe me an apology as well for your abrasive e-mails. If you feel an apology and thank you are too much to ask, then I will also accept gift certificates to the Olive Garden.

***************@aol.com <***************@aol.com>

Fri, Jun 19, 2009 at 10:26 AM

To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com

I GOT A GIFT CARD FOR YOU, WHERE CAN WE MEET SO I CAN GIVE IT TO YOU.


Roger Podacter

Fri, Jun 19, 2009 at 10:29 AM

To: ***************@aol.com

How much is it for?


***************@aol.com <***************@aol.com>

Fri, Jun 19, 2009 at 10:30 AM

To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com

$100.00


Roger Podacter

Fri, Jun 19, 2009 at 10:32 AM

To: ***************@aol.com

Are you going to give me the $100 gift card? Or are you just going to fight me?


***************@aol.com <***************@aol.com>

Fri, Jun 19, 2009 at 10:38 AM

To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com

I have to run out soon but I have to stop to pick up my pay checkat noon. So if you want to meet me at the BP down in Carnegie at noon that would be great I will ever leave my husband at home with the kids. So NO FIGHTING Thank you N*****


Roger Podacter

Fri, Jun 19, 2009 at 10:58 AM

To: ***************@aol.com

No, I want you to bring your husband and your kids. I want them to know the man that saved the entire family from a bear mauling. Also, I am changing the meeting time and place so that there are no cops. YOU MEET ME AT 1 O'CLOCK JACK PARKMAN MEMORIAL FIELD in Homestead, if you need directions then your entire life is a joke. NO COPS!!!! If I see so much as a Meter Maid, THE DEAL IS OFF!

***************@aol.com <***************@aol.com>

Fri, Jun 19, 2009 at 11:05 AM

To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com

Ok we have a problem I dont drive and it is also past 10 am I will be at the bp in carnegie picking up my pay check at noon I got to catch the bus in about 20 min i also have a walmart gift card for $50 so i can bring that too if you want it


Roger Podacter

Fri, Jun 19, 2009 at 11:12 AM

To: ***************@aol.com

OK, well I can just come by your place to pick up the gift cards. I am bringing two of my friends named Jeff and Davis, so your husband won't try any funny business. Jeff used to play football in high school and Davis has a criminal record because he has a DUI. I am not a fighter, so if your husband does try anything at all, you can bet that you guys will have pieces of raw meat scattered around your lawn for the next 2 months. If the urine soaked couch didn't attract the bears, then the raw meat will! I was hoping I that it didn't have to come to this, but all I ever really wanted was to help and maybe get a gift card. You both are quite rude and have shown no appreciation at all. I can only hope that your children have a good grandparent or aunt who can teach them how to be respectful.


***************@aol.com <***************@aol.com>

Fri, Jun 19, 2009 at 11:27 AM

To: rogerpodacter66@gmail.com

LOOK A**HOLE THERE IS NO GIFT CARD, BUT WHAT I DO HAVE WILL SPRAY YOU JEFF AND DAVID WITH MORE BULLETS THEN YOU KNOW WHAT DO WITH. END GAME. IF YOU DO E-MAIL ME BACK I WILL FORWARD TO THE PITTSBURGH POLICE AND THE F.B.I. YOU ARE USING THE NET TRYING TO GET SOMETHING BY LYING AND CHEATING PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO HELP OUT OTHERS. SO GO AHEAD A**HOLE 1st. SHOW UP HERE, 2nd. WRITE BACK. AND I WILL BE POSTING ALL OF THESE ON CRAIGS LIST, AND I DON'T THINK ANYONE WILL BE DEALING WITH YOU ANY MORE. GOOD BYE AND HAVE A NICE LIFE


Roger Podacter

Fri, Jun 19, 2009 at 11:28 AM

To: ***************@aol.com

N*****,
I must apologize. I am NOT the man that picked up the couch at your house. At no point during your ownership of the couch were you or your family in danger of a bear attack. My name is actually Fred Savage, and I was the actor who played Kevin Arnold on the Wonder Years. Recently, I got my Private Eye’s license and have been working cases. My client, who I cannot name, hired me to find out who stole his couch. I have been investigating all recent sales of couches on Craigslist and in the Post Gazette. Once again, I apologize for my awkward emails, but it was necessary for the investigation. I have now ruled yourself and your husband OUT as possible suspects.
In the event that I do find the suspect, would you be available as a witness?


Thank you,


Ben Savage

P.I.

P.S. If you really do have the $100 Olive Garden gift card and are willing to give it up, I am definitely interested.

5 comments:

  1. That Guy still will not leave me alone. He does need to go talk to someone for some help

    ReplyDelete
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