Thursday, April 9, 2009

Easy Bake Oven

Target: East Bake Oven
What They Sell: High Temperature Cooking Devices for Children
Date: Jan 13, 2008
Submitted by: Mumpleton Funk

Good morning, I just wanted to take the time to let you guys know that your Easy-Bake Oven is working wonders to strengthen the relationship between my son Darius and myself. I purchased the Easy-Bake oven for Darius' 7th birthday, and he still uses it now at the age of 10. He is really becoming quite thEasy Bake Ovene little chef.

Last night I boiled green beans and made mashed potatoes on the stove while Darius used the Easy-Bake oven to cook us two delicious sirloin steaks. Its amazing how good the steaks taste from the easy-bake. Usually he makes them medium-rare, because it usually takes awhile to even brown the steaks, but they are delicious once they are done. Its like using a slow-cooker.

I was surprised that there aren't any recipes for cooking beef or chicken in the easy-bake. It really is quite delicious. I could have Darius write down his methods next time and I could forward you the information.

Last month I took Darius up to Lake Minnetonka with some old college buddies. We brought up 4 easy-bakes and Darius cooked us all some venison from a couple fresh kills that we had while hunting. The meal was tasty, but I think Darius might not have left the deer in long enough, because my best friend Randy threw up fourteen times, had a seizure and then passed out face down in the creek bed. The next day we found him. His body was bloated and we barely recognized him. His brother Paul said some nice words and we buried him at sea. No one ever found out. I love easy-bake ovens.

RESPONSE FROM EASY BAKE:

Hi Zigmund R.,


Thank you for contacting us. We appreciate your taking the time to share your opinions and feedback with us. We are so happy to hear how much you enjoy our Easy Bake Oven.

Unfortunately, the Easy Bake Oven is not meant to cook steaks and chicken. We strongly recommend not using it to cook these items.

Also, as we are not sure which Easy Bake Oven you have, the following is regarding a recently recalled Easy Bake Oven.

Easy Bake Ovens sold prior to May, 2006 and Easy Bake Ovens that require a lightbulb are not affected by this recall program.

Easy Bake has received reports of children getting their hands or fingers caught in the oven’s opening, including reports of second- and third- degree burns and one incident of a serious burn that resulted in a partial finger amputation.

The affected Easy-Bake Oven is purple and pink and resembles a kitchen range with four burners on top and a front-loading oven. The model number is 65805 and Hasbro is stamped into the plastic on the back of the oven. Caregivers should immediately take the Easy-Bake Oven toy away from children. If this is the oven you have, we will send you a box with a prepaid mailing label for your use in returning the Easy-Bake Oven to us. Upon receipt, you will receive a $32.00 voucher for use on hasbrotoyshop.com.

Can you tell me if this is the Easy Bake Oven you currently have?

Also, I am assuming that the story about your friend is just a joke, otherwise I would be required to alert my superior.

Thank you.


REBUTTAL:

Dear Easy Bake,

The story about my friend Randy throwing up 14 times, having a seizure and passing out face down in a creek bed and then being buried in Lake Minnetonka was entirely fabricated. However, my son Darius and I will continue to enjoy steaks and chicken from the easy bake oven despite your false warnings.
Thank you,
Zigmund R.

11 comments:

  1. i love easy bake steak.

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  2. You sir are legendary!

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  3. This is a great site! Hilarious!

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  4. Hilarious!! I can feel my dick!

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  5. this one had me dying with laughter xD

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  6. wow i got this link off someone's facebook status... i will save this as one of my bookmarked websites.

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  7. Not counting throwing up 14 times, my uncle had a seizure and passed out the same way as in the story. This is outrageous! How can you people laugh about a tragedy like this?!

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  8. You MUST wear pearls when using your Easy Fake Oven..............

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  9. Whoohoo, he mentioned Lake Minnetonka! MN FTW!!

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  10. i love easy bake oven they are easy to use

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  11. when i bought my house throught costa rica homes for sale i wanted a great kitchen with a big space to put a big oven. Now i can baking every kind of cakes in there.

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