Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Viagra


Target: Viagra
Site: viagra.com
What they sell: Male Sexual Enhancers
Date: Jan 22, 2008
Submitted By: Mumpleton Funk


Good morning, my name is Ronald Sayers and I live in Mount Lebanon, PA. I have been using Viagra for 3 years now and my wife and I have had nothing but positive experiences. But I do have a comment about a problem that I experienced last Friday week.

This past Friday I took off work in order to spend the day with my wife. We had made plans to take a train to Washington, D.C. around 4pm and have dinner on the rail car. I figured that some sparks could fly early friday morning before we left so I took a Viagra around 9:30am.

At approximately 10am, I received a call from my boss and was informed that our computer system had crashed and I needed to come in for a few hours. I quickly got dressed and began to drive to work. While I was driving my Ford F-350 the vibrations from the engine caused some excitement for myself. Well, needless to say I was fully erect by the time I rolled into the parking lot. I sat in the car for five minutes trying to think about ugly kids and dead giraffes (that is what I use). This did not work and I had no time to waste.

I used my briefcase to cover my protrusion and I entered the building. I walked quickly down the hall towards my office when all of the sudden my boss rounded the corner and slammed into me. It was like slow-motion as my briefcase came loose from the grip of my hands and tumbled to the ground. My boss, being the small woman that she is ended up on the floor. I scrambled to retrieve my briefcase, but it was on the other side of my boss. Fear filled my soul as my boss looked up at me and my raging erection. I immediately panicked and sprinted down the hall towards the men's bathroom. As I ran for the bathroom a janitor wheeled a mop and bucket out into the hall. My left foot clipped the top of the bucket and sent me soaring towards the ground. I screamed in horror as I hit the unforgiving cement. I rolled over onto my side and watched in shock as blood poured from my groin. My erection had broken my fall, but unfortunately it was so rigid from your product that it had also broken in half.

I unzipped my trousers, and my worst fears were confirmed as I watched the head of my penis roll out of my slacks and come to rest on the cold floor. I fell unconscious and the next thing I knew I was in a hospital bed and I was all alone. It turns out that my wife had left me, I lost my job and I now have a robotic "Luke Skywalker hand-like" penis. When I turned on the news I learned that it was now year 2008. This accident occured in 1998. Thanks to your product I lost almost 10 years of my life, and 10 inches of my manhood.

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Response from Viagra
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None.

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