Monday, April 20, 2009

United Dairy

Target: United Dairy
What they sell: Milk
Date: April 16, 2009
Submitted By: Mumpleton Funk

If I had written this e-mail to 5 days ago, it would have been full of complaints and cuss words, but as the days have gone by I have become a strong supporter of your product.

Allow me to elaborate:

This past weekend my Elks Club was hosting a badminton tournament to help raise money for pink eye. We chose Mammoth Park east of Pittsburgh as the site for our tournament because of its expansive grounds and pavilions. We were planning on having beer on hand for the event, but park rules don't permit this practice, so we were forced to vote on an alternative beverage. Surprisingly, milk was chosen and we placed an order for 50 gallons from your Dairy.

Imagine our disappointment when the day of the tournament came and we had only 4 registered participants; two of which were my sons Trevor and Henderson. The United Dairy delivery man arrived around 11 with our milk, and I immediately told him I'd like to cancel my order. Like a complete bonehead, he told me that a customer cannot cancel an order upon delivery. After some arguing I told him to get the F outta here.

So there we were at Mammoth Park with a badminton court, 5 people and 50 gallons of milk.

At this point I was ready to call it quits and just pray that someone else could find a cure for pink eye, but my son Trevor delivered a rousing speech for us to continue the fight. Unfortunately, he forgot that we didn't have even teams, so a badminton tournament was out of the question.

At that point my son Henderson struggled to get out of his wheelchair and lifted himself to his feet. We all stood in silence as he crawled over to the milk and pulled out one of the gallons. He struggled to open its cap, and when he finally did he began to drink. And he just kept drinking. At first we stood frozen and held back our tears as we thought about the bravery of my son.

But then one of the tournament players walked over to the milk with tears in his eyes and he began to drink as well.

I stood in amazement and watched as everyone from the tournament took up a gallon of milk and began to drink. Trevor drank standing proud with my son Henderson laying below him finishing off his gallon. I ran towards the group and took up a jug myself. Tears streamed down my face as I sucked down every drop I could.

This all went on over the course of four minutes. Within five minutes we were puking everywhere. My son Henderson was covered in a mixture of milk, puke, sweat and tears. By that point we had absolutely conquered 1 and a half gallons of milk.

We learned something about human-will that day. When a group of people come together to reach a common goal, they will try really hard to achieve that goal. My son Henderson taught us that. Hopefully the brave men and that one woman that were there will share our story with others, so that they may continue to fight for a pink eye cure. We left the remaining 48 gallons underneath a sycamore tree in the park as a lasting reminder of the ongoing fight for the cure.

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